Sign In Sign-Up

Welcome!

Close

Would you like to make this site your homepage? It's fast and easy...

Yes, Please make this my home page!

No Thanks

  Don't show this to me again.

Close

Thursday, April 06, 2000 11:45:16 PM

Hidoko Matsumoto
___________________________________________________________________________________________

Disclaimer: Disclaimers in part one apply in part two. Hyde: lazy hido. Tetsu: *nod-nod* Hido: Fine! You shall suffer! Bwahaha! Tetsu: *shake-head-shake-head* Hyde: O_o; lovely hido pretty hido!! Tetsu: *nod-nod*
___________________________________________________________________________________________

Sakura's eyes darted towards the door, once, twice… It had been so many times he'd lost count, if he could be bothered to count. Sighing, he lay back against the futon, and tried to bury his face into its soft embrace. He hoped Yukki did not mistake his gesture. He felt silly for feeling that slight bit of jealousy, yet he was happy… Somehow.

The door creaked open, and a slight beam of light peeped into the dark room.

"Sakura…" Yuki's voice drifted in. "Sakura, are you awake?"

"Yes, I'm awake," Sakura replied, pretending that he'd been closing his eyes all awhile. I'm here, he wanted to add.

"Can I come in?" The shadow was still lingering outside.

"Sure."

Yuki finally came in, his eyes large, as if he was very much awake. He switched on the lights, flooding the room with its white colors. Sakura blinked, suddenly seeing spots. Yuki smiled nervously at his reaction, and sat onto the edge of the bed.

"You didn't sleep all night?" Sakura asked, feeling silly for asking it. After that gesture of his, after the idiotic things which he had said, who would have the heart to sleep?

"No," Yuki replied, sobering. His voice changed, seeming more grave and awake. "Sakura…"

He didn't know what to expect. It sounded like the type of voice which would be telling him that he was going to die, or at least disappear from Sakura's life…

"Sakura," His voice seemed to melt into the early morning. "Thank you so much for being my friend."

Sakura heaved a sigh of relief, smiling back at the smaller man. "You know you're welcome."

"…That's not it," Yuki carefully pinpointed, "We just met… ..I was the thief. You trusted me all along, and you even gotten someone to take care of me. And you supported me and Tetsu all along, even up till right now… You never seemed to blame me for intruding into your life, and send me away… Sakura, it's not everyday you meet with a person like you."

"It's not like you to say such a thing, Yuki." He sat up, putting his arms around his shoulder. "I'm your brother. Take all these as that."

"Still, thank you," Yuki's eyes were so beautiful, as they glanced up at him, and the edges of his lips lifted. "…Thank you so much."

***

Tetsu sat alone, again, in the dark. He'd switched off the lights and thrown the heavy curtains in because he thought it would be more comfortable for him, but he did not know how things would be. He had been locked in, and no matter how he tried he couldn't budge the door. Anyone who knew him and Hyde'd probably think that he would have given up already.

He could tell that Hyde was getting a quarrel with Ken downstairs. He was guessing that there was at least a heated discussion, because the doors were thick and he could hear muffled yells, even if he pressed his ears close. He figured that there was no need for him to hear, and he lay against the bedpost, fluffing the pillow up a bit, and placed his hand to his chest. He closed his eyes, not knowing what to do, the earlier events coming back to haunt him further. It seemed that the dark couldn't hide the images from him, even. He wanted to scream, and yell, and shout; anything to distract him from the feeling in his heart. The feeling of despair, as if it had been crying, crying so much and bleeding and never fading away.

….. …Past images, of no relevance and for no particular reason, came back again. Suddenly, an image of Yuki flashed in his mind, and he calmed a little. He flattened himself against the mattress, pretending to be dead. Maybe if he pretended he was dead the heart would stop its crying as well. He thought of Yuki's smile, his gentleness… He almost smiled.

Then, he heard the sound of a key turning in a lock. A face flashed in his mind; Hyde's. He was afraid again… He was afraid that Hyde felt nothing towards him all along… Maybe, that was why he had been hurting him all these while.

"Tetsu." Hyde's deep voice echoed into the empty room. Tetsu remained dead, until Hyde poked him, and he sat up with a jolt.

"….Hyde," He murmured. "…Ken?"

Hyde's face remained cold. "…He left."

Tetsu was surprised; he thought Hyde would say that it was none of his business. Yet… He couldn't help asking all these while. Hyde sat down beside him, gazing up into his face. Tetsu didn't know what else to say. He wanted to apologize for everything, he hoped Hyde would forgive him…

His beloved Hyde…

"I… I'm sorry, Hyde," Tetsu managed, his voice coming out shakily.

"…For what?" Hyde asked, still gazing up unfeelingly, his bruises seeming to make it more so.

At this face, Tetsu burst into tears. Please… . "…Stop torturing me!"

"……. Tetsu…" Hyde suddenly pulled him closer, and held him close, so close. Tetsu let out a small gasp, startled, unable to comprehend that it was Hyde who was holding him. Hyde who no longer felt the need to hold him 'just because', the same person who claimed to love him 'just because' long ago too. "…I love you."

"… …Wha…?"

"I said I love you." Hyde did not let him go. It was Tetsu who pushed him away, who stared at him with wide, unbelieving eyes.

"…You love me?" He almost laughed, but he was too sobered to do so. "You?"

A look of guilt crossed Hyde's face, and he nodded silently.

"Then… .Why did you hurt me all these while?" Tears overflowed from his eyes again. "…Why?"

Hyde just stared up at him, as if he couldn't decide what to do. He reached for Tetsu's shoulders, to grasp his shaking frame, and kissed him as gently as he remembered how to, as lovingly as he remembered. It was a kiss not for pleasure but more like breathing love into the other. Tetsu fell limp for a moment, and slowly his arms moved to hold Hyde in turn. This embrace was so different, it was almost like Tetsu had traveled back into the time when they had first started.

They fell back onto the bed, still locked in each other's arms. Hyde's kiss deepened, as the feeling in his heart brimmed. It felt… So refreshing, like dewdrops in the night… Tetsu moaned, feeling as if something was being harbored in his body, harbored in the heart which belonged to Hyde. Hyde broke the kiss, somewhat regretfully, and gazed deep into his eyes.

"…You haven't bathed, have you?" He asked, brushing a strand of hair from Tetsu's face.

Tetsu shook his head hesitantly, unsure of what Hyde was up to. That kiss… It had felt so right…. But, what was Hyde about to do? He never knew, all along, and he wouldn't know even then.

"…Then go and bathe, Tetsu… And have a good rest……"

"…….Hyde…?" He grasped Hyde's hand just as Hyde was about to get up and leave. "…You said… You loved me….?"

Hyde's smile was gentle, and peaceful. It was so different from what it had been normally; such a lovely smile. "…I loved you, always."

Suddenly, he felt like a dreamer. He didn't know what made him feel that way; he had been unable to dream since long ago. But, right then, he wanted to stay in the dream, and live with the feeling that Hyde loved him all along… "Then don't leave me, don't let me feel so lonely again…!" His voice almost broke as he finished the sentence. "……I…"

Hyde nodded, resigning. He sat back down, running his fingers through Tetsu's hair. His eyes fluttered close for a slight moment as if to savor the feeling, and then, slowly, wrapped his arms around Tetsu. Tetsu's eyes widened, at this embrace, this feeling as if Hyde was… Dependent on him… …. "…I won't let you be lonely again…"

Tetsu held Hyde back.

Hyde's eyelashes fluttered, as his eyes opened again, probing into Tetsu's. A hand caressed Tetsu's face, and slowly, he continued, "……Ever…"

"Hyde…" Tetsu choked. Hyde studied him for awhile, holding him still.

"…Tetsu, let's go and bathe together, nee…?" He whispered, with a sudden impulse, upon reminiscence of the past. Suddenly, he longed it to be like when he first fell in love, when he was not yet corrupted by the world…. Seeing that Tetsu was in shock, he quickly added, as he would, so many years ago, "…Onegai?"

Suddenly Tetsu's tears came again, and he nodded emotionally. Hyde's tears shone through his smile as well, at the thought that Tetsu remembered how it had been, even though it was so long ago. He too, wanted to dream, wanted to think that he was the only one in Tetsu's heart—His feeling soured a little—And that he only slept with that Yuki guy because he had been lonely all these while. He wanted to think that he had been the only one who caused Tetsu's tears, and laughter, each and every single moment of his life with him…

Slowly, Hyde pulled Tetsu towards the bathroom, intertwining his fingers with Tetsu's, almost breaking out into laughter, feeling young. He was finally dreaming, again… Hearing his laughter, Tetsu laughed along, holding Hyde's hand tighter. They stepped from the carpeted furs onto the rich black marble floor, feeling the warmth seep from themselves into it. It was weird how warmth traveled like that, even weirder how they both felt warmer at the same time, like some long-lost dream which had been recovered, like a burning flame on a candle which refused to go out and only burnt brighter despite all the wind.

Not a word was said, as Hyde looked up into Tetsu's face. Tetsu blushed; Hyde's jacket had fallen open earlier, and it rested on him spaciously, revealing pale, smooth skin underneath, stained with patches of angry bruises and red scratches. Hyde laughed at Tetsu's expression, actually laughed openly, straight out, not the refined contained chuckles which had developed. He squeezed Tetsu's hand tightly. "Mou daijyoubu da…"

He turned, and pressed a metal button which lay embedded into the white marble. Water started filling the Jacuzzi, its steam warming the air around them. Contentedly, Hyde lead Tetsu closer towards it, slowly pulling Tetsu's shirt over his head. For a brief moment, he remembered everything, and it only served to make him feel more guilty. He wondered whose shirt was it, but that thought was dispersed as Tetsu looked at him soulfully.

He shook his head, draping the shirt against the edge of the white structure against which the tub rested in. "Nee, lets get in, Tetsu?"

Tetsu blushed slightly again, this time from the way Hyde had spoken his name. Everything from black and white had thickened into the rejuvenated colors, and blossomed. Hyde slowly pulled off his jacket, and slid into the water, resting his back against it. Half-hesitantly, Tetsu took off his jeans, putting it together with the shirt, and got in slightly clumsily, splashing drops of clear water about. Hyde watched him, making him blush further.

"….Kirei na," Hyde said.

Tetsu froze, for a slight moment, and hugged himself slightly. The water was hot, steaming hot against his skin, as if it would melt him into a liquid, and dissolve him with everything else. He glanced back up, to see Hyde sprinkling fragrant petals of roses into the white tub. The smell arose sweetly into his nostrils, its aroma seeming to caress him.

Ah, yes, they were sharing the same dream. Yet he remembered that he was still in reality, and Hyde reached for a bottle of lather, and a big, soft sponge. The bubbles smelt of lavender, as Hyde put the bottle back and reached for his hand instead, messaging in firm, circular motion against his arm muscles. He sighed, the lather coating him comfortably, Hyde's beautiful face locked in a fond concentration. The water splashed slightly, as Hyde moved closer, rubbing towards his neck, down onto his chest…. He put his hand against Hyde's hair, gently sifting his fingers through the soft, dark curls.

"….Let's get out, nee. I don't want to dirty the water." Hyde directed. Tetsu nodded, following Hyde out of the tub, watching as Hyde's body glistened in the white light. The smell of flowers lingered in the air. He sat down on the outer structure of the tub, motioning for Tetsu to sit beside him. Tetsu did. Hyde reached for the bottle again, pouring the lavender lather onto Tetsu's shoulders. The thick liquid trailed down, almost in rhythm to Hyde's motions.

So warm… Nothing was out of place, in this dream the two of them had woven. Tetsu could feel every grain of warmth in Hyde's touch. He could feel a hardness building up, as Hyde caressed him there, making him writhe slightly; but Hyde's hands left regretfully, to massage his tensed up thighs, and down to his feet. Hyde carefully rubbed his toes, one by one, as if each of them were precious. Such a sweet feeling… His heart almost ached at the overflowing feeling, as Hyde looked up at him, so endearingly close. He held the sponge out.

Tetsu took it, and, trying to keep his hands from trembling, returned Hyde the gesture. It was such a simple act, to bathe one another, yet so profound … To take care of the other in such an intimate way. Tetsu's eyes focused onto Hyde's body, such a lovely and flawless body, so lovely it was glowing. His smile had gone away, and his lips quivered slightly. Tears clouded his vision, when Hyde's hand tilted his face by his chin. Hyde's eyes were glazed, too, with tears. Hyde's lips pressed against his for a brief moment, and it was then, everything faded in comparison to Hyde's scent, his sweetness.

…Still, so warm……Something built up in his stomach, intensely, so intensely that it was almost ripping him from the inside. Hyde let go, and he hurriedly blinked those tears away, still rubbing against Hyde's body, watching the tinted bubbles foam. That feeling clenched his heart tighter, when he saw a small, clearly defined dragon curling in fury on Hyde's skin. Almost subconsciously, his mind wandered to the time when Hyde pricked the needle into his skin by himself with such care and concentration at every detail, remembering the way he had whispered soothing words into Tetsu's ears when he cringed in pain.

He didn't know when he had finished; it seemed like he wanted to take care of Hyde forever and ever. Hyde finally pulled the sponge out of his grasp, looking amused and blessed, and teasingly kissed his forehead lightly, placing the sponge under running water and setting it aside with the bottle. Then, he pulled him aside. Tetsu blushed when he saw himself in a large mirror, but Hyde simply smiled and turned on running water from a shower. He grasped the equipment, aiming it so that water sprayed onto Tetsu's body. The water ran off him, and the lavender smell thinned. Hyde rinsed himself, and wetted both their hair. He took another bottle, and the liquid he poured out of it was red, almost like blood.

He remembered that, because Hyde had done so. His eyes darted back towards the bath tub, and suddenly he realized so many many things which he could never ever explain. It almost seemed as if his soul had known the reason why he lived, all along. The liquid thinned and foamed when Hyde rubbed his palms together and slowly ran his fingers though his hair, spreading the feel of the smooth lather against his scalp. His hair fell loosely against his face, his fringe obscuring his right eye. The shampoo was rose-scented, and it ran off like wisps of diluted blood with the water. Hyde proceeded to wash his own silky hair, and Tetsu pushed his own fringe away from his face.

"I love this scent, Hyde." He said, looking hopefully into Hyde's eyes.

They shone. "…I always kept it this way."

His eyes filled with tears again, and this time they couldn't be kept away, no matter how hard he tried and tried. Yes; Hyde never changed that, no matter how much things changed. Hyde loved him all along…

"The roses are meant only for you." Hyde smiled. He put the shower apparatus back into its clasp, his long black curls adorning his face, hanging down his pearly white back as he turned, and headed back into the tub, sliding back into the water. Tetsu followed; the water had cooled to a mild temperature, and the smell of roses had thickened. Hyde closed his eyes, for a moment, and then looked back up. Tetsu felt flustered, from that expecting glance, and hastily turned away. Hyde held Tetsu's shoulder gently, and moved closer, kissing Tetsu lightly, brushing his dripping hair back. He sat down, his back facing Tetsu, and lay back onto Tetsu's body.

Tetsu's hands hesitated for a moment, but he knew what he wanted to do. They moved around Hyde's body, holding him tightly against himself…… It felt so true, so right… He closed his eyes, feeling his beloved so close to him. They stayed there, till the smell of roses no longer seemed to exist, and Hyde finally pulled away, his eyes shining with all the stars in the world… He led Tetsu out, back into the bedroom, where he helped him into a bathrobe.

It was then, when they left, that he realized the smell of roses had existed after all.

"Sit down," Hyde told him, gesturing towards the bed. Tetsu did, worrying that he would wet the bed with the dripping water, but Hyde's smile seemed to make nothing matter. Hyde climbed behind him, and ran his fingers through Tetsu's hair, combing it neatly behind his ears. The feel of Hyde's fingers, his touch, made him feel even warmer… The fingers traced from his hair to his neck, moving in circular motions. Tetsu felt all tension leave his body, and pleasure sank in when Hyde nibbled his ears.

"Ah…" Tetsu moaned, as Hyde kissed down to his neck. "…Hyde…"

Hyde pulled him so that he lay down onto the sheets. Tetsu looked at him through a upside-down world. He almost giggled, if not for that feeling which gradually built in his heart so much that it almost felt as if he was dying inside with every moment that passed with Hyde. Hyde climbed onto him, his tongue exploring his chest. Through blurred eyes, he saw Hyde's glowing form hovering above him……

Suddenly, he wondered if Hyde was an angel who had descended from Heaven. He was so beautiful… Too beautiful to exist… Hyde's kisses trailed down, and a fire engulfed him. His breaths deepened. Hyde's mouth encircled him, his own body pressing close to Tetsu's. He shut his eyes, as the world seemed to spiral from the pleasure. He was nearing release, when Hyde's lips left his length, to caress his thighs with their softness.

"Hyde…!" He pleaded, almost in anguish. He heard a soft, curt laughter, and Hyde's lips traced back, luring his mind and body into a trance.

A trance where Hyde was everything in his world, a trance where he was the vessel which harbored that world. He loved this trance, loved this delusion which his mind gave him.

"Ah…. Hyde!"

The trance left him, and for a few moments his vision was unfocused, then he saw Hyde's body hover back over him, his lips luxuriously wet with a thick liquid. He climbed off Tetsu, and for a moment Tetsu felt a sudden rush of anxiety, as if Hyde would leave him alone, forever alone.

He opened his mouth to yell Hyde's name, but Hyde's comforting form climbed back up, his tongue probing into Tetsu's mouth. The liquid flowed in like honey, dripping down his chin. He swallowed, feeling it sliding down his throat. Hyde's kiss deepened, and Tetsu's hand, which had been unconsciously clutching onto the blanket all along, wandered to hold Hyde, to run his fingers through Hyde's damp curls, to feel this beautiful being in his embrace… …

It hurt so much, deep inside, as if something had waken up and was struggling, fighting its way to live within his dying self. Was that love? He had always asked himself. Was love what he had been feeling, or was he fabricated to thinking that it was love all along? He didn't want to let go, but Hyde pushed his hands away, almost roughly.

He didn't care what that feeling was…

Suddenly tears overflowed, and he cried, in such pain, yet crying was nothing compared to that sinister heart-wrenching emotion. He didn't care if he was selfish, he didn't care even if he was going to hurt Hyde. His mind was a blank; a void of loneliness.

"Tetsu…? Why are you crying……?" Hyde asked, obviously taken aback. With gentle fingers, he caressed Tetsu's face, wiping his tears away.

He only shook his head, holding Hyde closer, so tightly as if the two of them could merge. He wished they could, so that he would never ever feel lonely again.

"…Don't cry, Tetsu. Everything's fine…" He kissed him on the nose, his hands smoothing his hair assuringly. "…Don't cry…"

Tetsu didn't know why, yet he simply clung onto Hyde. Bit by bit, he was being filled… He held him for a moment, and his teary eyes opened to see a blurry image of such a lovely face, it only twisted his heart further. He was being ripped up from the inside, with every moment that the cursed love filled him.

Yet, it didn't matter that he died. It didn't matter anymore…

He didn't know what prompted him to ask the question either, yet he did. "Hyde… Can you… Kill me now?"

"…Kill you?" Hyde stared at him unbelievably, and then his eyes seemed to fill up too. "…You idiot."

"……I love you, Hyde… I love you so much." Tetsu forced a smile through his tears. "I want to die right now… Can I?"

"……Idiot." Hyde claimed his mouth in a kiss again, then he murmured, "….If you died, what about me?"

"…Maybe…" Tetsu faltered. You can live without me…… He wanted to say that. The words caught in his throat; he almost choked on it; it was such a painful truth.

"You big idiot." Hyde lay in his arms for a moment, and pushed him away, his face stained with tears as well. "You can't die."

Tetsu was surprised to see the tear tracks on Hyde's face. Yes, it's a dream. He was almost convinced…. His feelings brimmed, as Hyde kissed him again, and again… Repeatedly, it seemed as if the dream would never end. He didn't want it to end. Hyde's lips, his tongue, his body, his love engulfed him even faster than the raging fire, the fire which burned brighter with every moment. He could feel himself tearing up, yet he begged for more, for Hyde to be in him, to penetrate so deeply that he didn't think they could ever be separated again.

Even if he was deceiving himself…

His gasps filled the night, cursing it with every drop of blood he shed. Yet he begged for more; he was so afraid…

Afraid that if it ended, he would wake up and find the loneliness tearing him apart again…. Yet as he lost consciousness, he felt Hyde stop, and then those strong arms wrap around him tightly. He could barely hear it as Hyde whispered, "…I love you…. …so much."

***

The sunlight pierced through the veils which shielded the window in a futile manner. Tetsu opened his eyes, blinking comprehensively. The reality dawned upon him, as he felt someone's hands pressing against his chest, he tried to move. He wanted to move, but a feeling of someone sliding against him, someone still merged as one with him stopped him. …It hurt. The feeling in his heart wanted to come back, but he won't let it. For a brief moment he felt a sense of emptiness, one which a person might feel when lying in the cradle of the cosmos, where nothing seemed to matter. An emptiness which was so fulfilling.

Then Hyde stirred; he could feel the light eyelashes brushing against his back. Hyde's hands let go for a brief moment, and even then Tetsu couldn't feel. Slowly, as gently as possible, he slid out of Tetsu's battered form, and that warm embrace which he was in was no longer anything anymore.

The emptiness changed, into a void which engulfed him like some dark chasm. He tried to turn around, but his body refused to obey; it only helplessly. He finally pulled himself into a half-sitting position, to find that he was looking at Hyde pleadingly. Hyde's face was tender, as he hurriedly stopped Tetsu from hurting himself any further. He saw the lovely blood which had dried on the sheets, and immediately a feeling of regret weighed him down.

"Don't move…" He whispered, resting his hands on Tetsu's shoulders.

Tetsu looked up blankly at him, his mind suddenly lost in another space. Then, in a sudden move, he buried his face against Hyde's chest, holding him closer, and started sobbing uncontrollably.

"……" His hands held Tetsu back, his fingers twirling around Tetsu's hair lovingly.

Tetsu's voice shook, and even Hyde was not sure if he had heard it correctly. Yet it stabbed his heart like a knife, repeatedly and painfully… "Hyde… Where have you been?"

Time passed by fleetingly, even though the two wanted it to pause. The two of them together, it was as if they existed just to be there, in that place, at that time. Yet time passed by. Tetsu fell asleep, exhausted from crying.

"……I've been here all along…" He murmured, painfully, as he looked into Tetsu's serene face. "…What's wrong with me?"

***

Sakura's eyes opened to take in Yuki's wavering form. He had dozed off about once or twice, yet he could not truly sleep. There had been a few troubled dreams; Sakura couldn't remember anything. He just knew that he had dreams… Bad dreams.

"Are you okay, Sakura?" Yuki was sitting by his bed.

"Yeah, got a headache though." A pause. Yuki looked relieved, but Sakura thought he looked tired as well. "You didn't sleep after all?"

Yuki seemed slightly awkward for a moment, then he finally spoke, "No, I didn't… I couldn't. I hope you don't mind me staying in your room all this while…"

Sakura was surprised. He welcomed Yuki's presence, yet he couldn't tell Yuki that. There had been enough mushy conversations that night. He still didn't know what had been wrong of him, but it didn't matter so much anymore, not in the morning. "No, it's okay." To add in indifference, "Why?"

He didn't expect Yuki to reply, but he did, after some absolute silence. "……I don't want to be alone…"

"…Nee, I'm sure Tetsu is thinking of you right now, too." Sakura didn't know why he said that, but he had to say something. Yuki smiled at that, although it didn't seem to be of much concern to him. Sakura knew that Yuki was more worried for Tetsu's safety. "……I'm sure he'll be fine."

Yuki nodded, still not looking anymore relieved.

Sakura sighed. "Want some breakfast?"

He shook his head.

"Baka, you need to eat something!" Sakura scolded, getting up. Yuki opened his mouth, but shut it under Sakura's glare. "You! You stay put. I'll get you some food. One usual?"

Yuki nodded quietly, smiling this time. "One usual……"

Sakura gave him a thumbs up sign, and Yuki could hear him search for the keys, open the door, and shut it. Then he remembered that Sakura hadn't brushed his teeth yet. He wondered why he had thought of that, and his smile widened, till he was laughing aloud to himself hysterically.

"Sakura you are the baka!" He finally grinned, looking at the empty room fondly. It had never occurred to him that the house was so… endearing, simply because so many things happened in that house… He met Sakura there, he met Tetsu there… .

Then he sobered. He continued gazing at the walls, at every single drawer and every single photo frame, to forget the gnawing worry. His gaze fell onto a half-opened drawer. He took hold of it, preparing to shut it tightly, but a glint caught his eye. By instinct, he opened the drawer. The glint had came from the brightly polished silver frame of a photo. It was a simple frame, simple yet elegant. A youthful face gazed back at him. It was a pretty face, obviously taken when the guy had let down his guard. Yuki gazed at it, ponderously. Just as he made a mind to ask Sakura about it later, the phone rang.

With that, he immediately put the photo frame back into the drawer, closing it, and dashed out of the room. Maybe it was Tetsu… .

"Hello?" He paused, waiting for an answer.

"Yukihiro?" He heard someone on the other line; a familiar voice. "Migi… Migi just got defeated!"

"Migi…?!" He gasped. "The entire gang?"

"No, the group that kidnapped our relatives! Other than your friend, they kidnapped Futami's brother and Yasutomi's fiancee. Only that group, which is merely a small part of Migi. They have offended Kokuryu, their supporting group, so they're dead anyway." He seemed to be breathing deeply.

"Kokuryou?" He gasped again, remembering Tetsu, and Sakura. "….What happened?"

"……They kidnapped Hyde, of all people. And it seems that Tsubomi found out about Migi," The voice laughed. "And Ken kicked their sorry butts! …Yuki, where have you been?"

"…Home," He replied, half in shock after hearing that. Finally, something snapped as he realized something. "……Where is Tetsu?!"

"Your friend… . He's Hyde's. I heard that Hyde brought him back."

"Hyde's… Who?"

"I should think his lover. A clan member of Tsubomi told me that when they barged in… Hyde was in this guy's arms, and Tetsu was standing at a side. They weren't wearing much, and there seemed to be a struggle where a chair was even broken. He saw the tattoos which no one else have… On Hyde, the black dragon tattoo. It's done in such a way that it looks like it's dancing in black fire, and therefore hard to duplicate. Your friend has the dragon entwined around a rose, in a very similar design. No one else will dare to have it. It's a dangerous thing to have… Maybe they kidnapped your friend to get Hyde there."

"…How did Tsubomi know about it?" He asked, trying to change the subject. He could feel tears flooding his eyes again. Blinking it away, he coughed, to hide his breaking voice. Tetsu… Did belong to Hyde after all. If Hyde went to such measures to find him back…. .It must mean that they were very close lovers.

"I don't know, no one knows. Yuki, are you okay now? Your friend should be okay, I think."

He tried to find his voice. "……Yes, I'm fine."

"The fight's going to be next week, especially after this act has been committed. We can't let them off… .Yuki, you must come. All of us are going to expect you to come… Yukihiro, are you okay?"

"Yes, yes I will go." He wanted to smile as he replied. "I will definitely go. Just tell me the exact date and place…"

Shouts of joy and laughter were heard over the phone, and Yuki managed a small laugh, but it just faded out of him. Quickly, the voice resumed, and told him of the time and place, and the codes. Yuki would have to wear a headband at that time. "So… Meet me a day before, okay? We haven't seen each other for a long time… The rest miss you too."

"….Yes, sure."

"Let's celebrate the occasion! We are definitely going to win."

He laughed. "Then, let's see you on that day, same time, same place."

"…….Yes, Oniichan." A chorus sound, cheerfully.

"…Yes." The beeping tone sounded, indicating that the line was cut. Yuki put the phone down, slowly, and then his smile faded away like the warmth of this kind of kinship… He collapsed onto the couch, burying his face into his hands. He sat there like that for a while.

The key turning in the lock sounded, and Yuki hurriedly bolted into the bathroom. Sakura came in with a big grin on his face, which slowly faded. "…Yuki, where are you?"

He tried to reply with the most normal voice which he could. "Toilet!"

"You hog!" Sakura accused, laughing. "I got your bentou, hurry up!"

He wasn't able to reply anymore; he fell hunched against the basin, staring into his own devastated form in the mirror.

***

Things seemed to have changed; that night seemed to have changed everything. Hyde stayed by Tetsu's side—he wondered if he was still dreaming—and took care of him, tenderly, not a moment leaving him alone unless he absolutely needed to. Suddenly, he felt more rejuvenated in his mind than anything else. He was fine, he was loved…. He felt at the top of the world again, looking down from a place where he had never seen before… Wait, was that familiar? Sometime earlier it had been the same.. .. Sometime, someplace.

Wasn't it in that same place which everything had happened?

Tetsu couldn't remember, after Hyde had moved from this house to that apartment in central town. He hadn't understood why Hyde wanted change. It's our house, only ours, he had protested. And Hyde had agreed. Only theirs.

Yet he hadn't said anything about the apartment; Tetsu knew… He was left crying in their house for a few months, before he moved over to Hyde's apartment. Hyde stayed home, Hyde didn't, it didn't seem to matter anymore. It felt like there was an ice wall between them… And all the while, he couldn't forget the time which he had felt loved. It felt as if Hyde kept him there for nothing, maybe as an occasional toy to play with, but it was all. Hyde hadn't cared about his tears. Hyde would dump him there, and he would find himself forgiving Hyde again, like a kid who never knew his boundaries.

Occasionally he would leave, and come back, and then leave, when he realized he had taken too much…. Yet he always returned. Until, Yukihiro appeared in his life with his bright smile and shy gestures. Yeah, he thought he was saved.

And now, things had turned out this way… He wondered, when would the dream shatter again? He wondered when would everything break away and fall into pieces, leaving him alone and crying again? He didn't like love anymore. He felt strong, as if he could withstand everything, as if nothing could change, until, until, everything did change… And then he realized that everything this love brought had been an illusion, nothing but an illusion which was used to deceive perfect idiots such as him. Maybe if he died off halfway, when he and Hyde had first started, before everything turned ugly, love would remain the perfect legend?

Yeah… He couldn't help but feel the melancholy now that he was reminded. Suddenly, everything seemed so strange, as if some sadistic God had turned his world upside down whenever he felt like it. Recently, when Hyde was off in his office, he would think and think… He wondered, if Hyde was with some beautiful boy or girl, right then? It had been common earlier. Hyde was influenced by power and money. Love didn't seem to matter, he didn't matter, yet… That was it, love was stupid.

"…Tetsu," Hyde's voice interrupted his thoughts, and a gentle hand covered his forehead. "…You are having fever now…?"

"…I'm fine," He said, grasping Hyde's hand tightly. "I'm fine."

"Don't be silly," Hyde replied, wringing his hand loose. Tetsu wondered if Hyde knew how much it hurt him to let go, how much his heart had felt as if it was torn apart each time. "…I'll come back later."

"Hyde…" He murmured, reaching out futilely.

"…….Why are you sick now?" Hyde couldn't help murmuring, glancing at the sad figure on the bed. "Now that…. ."

He couldn't complete his sentence; he knew half the reason. Tetsu was sick because he missed the olden times. Hyde felt sorry, for many things, for being so blind… He had lost himself along the way. He even forgot that he loved Tetsu; he only remembered that Tetsu loved him.

Then, now that everything had gone back to before, Tetsu was broken. He had always thought Tetsu was lovely when he was sad, but… . Now, it pained him. He realized that he wasn't enjoying this pain, finally, he realized how much the pain hurt Tetsu and it finally registered to him. He had hurt Tetsu too much for him to ever heal again…

He went down the stairs, and went into the kitchen. A past memory drifted into his mind, of Tetsu bustling about cheerfully in a lacy apron and nothing else, looking so beautiful that it seemed as if he was a fairy out of an enchanted land. Shaking his head slightly, he opened the closet, took some aspirins, and soaked a towel in ice water. Taking a tub in one hand, a glass of water with dissolved aspirin in the other, he slowly advanced back into the room. He needed to go back to Kokuryu's office later; Ken had to see him. His men had served him well, and all he had to do was usually to make sure that everything was carried out.

"Tetsu," He said quietly, putting the tub onto the table.

"…Hyde." Tetsu acknowledged, his eyes filling up again. He had been so emotional for the past few days Hyde almost couldn't bear to leave him. And every time his heart was with Tetsu when he did leave.

"Shh… Don't cry…. Drink this water, Tetsu." He held the glass close to Tetsu's lips, and tilted it slightly, watching as Tetsu's lips gradually parted to accept the flowing water. He tilted it back when he saw Tetsu almost choke, and then let it flow down again.

Finally, he set the glass aside, taking a tissue paper to wipe Tetsu's chin gently, as if he was a porcelain doll who couldn't move; Tetsu didn't attempt to move.

"Come on, lie down." He murmured soothingly when Tetsu's eyes welled up yet again, almost as if it was to a child. He pulled Tetsu by his hand, and kissed him on the forehead gently, feeling his heat soak through his moist lips. "Don't cry…"

Tetsu finally moved, so that he lay down, and glanced up at Hyde pleadingly, holding his hand tightly. Hyde knew this gesture; it was like a kid who wanted his mummy. He smiled, indicating that he was there, and he saw the distress in Tetsu's eyes go away. He took the cloth, folded it neatly into a rectangle, and the placed it on Tetsu's forehead. Once again, he whispered sweet nothings, as he saw the relief in Tetsu's tensed expression. Tetsu fell asleep soon, and Hyde didn't stop repeating his motions until he was convinced that Tetsu's fever had gone down. Then he realized how late it was; he needed to get to his office to see to those idiotic documents and whatnot.

Glancing back silently at the cuddled-up figure, he smiled bitterly, wondering how it would be like if they were locked in an embrace together in blissful sleep, and never to be awakened.

***

Hyde didn't see Ken until five in the afternoon, and this time Ken arrived without an appointment. He had been caught by surprise again, yet the thought of it did not surprise him; it had happened so often. He was just quite miffed that at such a time, Ken would appear.

"Miss Hyde," Ken finally spoke, when he realized that Hyde was glaring daggers at him. "I'm sorry for intruding on you like this."

"You always are," Hyde snapped, his anger suddenly consuming him. Maybe it came from a direction of pent-up frustration. "But you never change this."

"You're in a bad mood today, I see."

"What do you want?" Instead, he had asked. "I thought you would have more sense than to appear like this when I'm not around most of the time. It's different now, I can't sit here sipping tea anymore."

They fell into silence. Ken took a cigarette out, and lighted it. "…You don't want me around?"

"No, it's not that…" Hyde spoke carefully; at the tone of Ken's voice it rang in his head that Ken owned a clan almost as large as his, and probably growing faster than his was. "…..I'm busy now, I can't possibly attend to these things and spend the days as before… You understand that, don't you?"

"…Yeah, I understand," Ken replied, inhaling the smoke, and then blowing it back out. "I understand thoroughly. Miss Hyde, you're never the kind to run a clan. You're smart, but you should be at home cooking porridge and feeding cats."

"I'm not that kind of person, you should know," Hyde retorted, putting his pen down, got up, and walked over towards the luxury table. "And don't go around telling my followers that. Wine?"

"Wine," Ken nodded. "I won't, I'm not that kind of person either."

Hyde poured it, and watched as Ken sat down on the seat in front of his desk. He couldn't help but feel cautious towards this man. He remembered the other night, when he had been saved… It seemed as if Ken had kept a tab on his activities all along. He'd asked, and quarreled with Ken about that, but Ken hadn't said anything. He simply sat there puffing his cigarettes and ended the day with 'take care'. Hyde said nothing as he handed Ken the glass.

"Thank you," Ken replied, accepting it as if he was supposed to.

Hyde's eyes narrowed slightly, but he said nothing, as he returned to his seat and continued on his work.

***

Tetsu seemed to be still sleeping when Hyde got home. He had been unable to concentrate on anything else. Somehow, it was driving him insane, that guilt and that responsibility, but he would rather it be this way. He had finally learnt self-evaluation.

It was almost as if he had been living within veils, then suddenly the veils were ripped away from him, leaving only the truth. The truth was that he had gotten himself stuck within the veils a long time ago, and never had been able to get himself out again until they were ripped from him. The sequence of events, now that he thought of it, felt as if they were there to humble him, and quite rightly so. He smiled at his own sin, somehow feeling as if he would be the first to be destroyed if the end came.

Tetsu didn't wake up. Hyde sighed, finally getting away from Tetsu's side, and stepped into the bathroom to bathe. The whole thing felt so empty without Tetsu's presence, and he wondered if he had went there some months back, when he was still entangled in the veils, how would he have felt? He didn't know…

He continued on his actions mechanically. Suddenly he realized how weird things seemed, how hollow, without a beloved by his side. He wanted to finish everything and go back into the room as quickly. Even though he had saved Tetsu all these while, protecting him, it was Tetsu who had saved his soul again and again, it was Tetsu who tried to protect his heart by forgiving him again and again. Hyde wanted to bash himself up for his own stupidity… He wondered if Tetsu had forgotten that skinny kid—he hoped so.

Thinking like this, time passed by rapidly, too rapid for his liking. One moment, he was sleeping beside Tetsu, smelling his sweet scent, the next it was early morning, and Tetsu was gazing at him through half-lidded eyes. And then the next it was late afternoon, when he had to rush to the office again. .. Repeatedly, uncountably, it happened, as if it was some sort of cycle. He'd forgotten about Sakura, or even that skinny kid, soon enough, until the fight drew near. Then he remembered how angry he was at Sakura. His love for Tetsu mellowed this anger, but once he was alone, his anger grew, till it was consuming him.

It was as if he himself would be bursting in the rage if he did not revenge.

He didn't know what would have happened if Tetsu had left his side. That warm smile seemed to shatter the iron part within himself, into some warm crystal liquid. It was as if he was being blessed with some holy water, cleansing him of all dirt which he had kept buried inside his heart. It was something more divine than any religion, or love for any greater being which supposedly was there—but something which was on a lesser level, and something which he knew was all his life as long as it mattered to him…

And Tetsu…

Still, he had to make a show. He didn't fancy the thought of something planned going otherwise… And time was drawing near.

*** (and so, time goes by…)

Sakura didn't know what came over Yuki. He cared, yet Yuki wouldn't tell him. He didn't like the detached Yuki, didn't like how they were drifting away so fast, simply because there was something wrong with Yuki; his smile was the usual, it was warm and sweet, still it wasn't quite so happy. It didn't seem like Yuki without that factor. He'd tried asking, he tried cheering him, but it was no use. And the week slowly crept to the end.

Hyde's calls to Sakura had been disturbingly peaceful, too. He couldn't help but wonder what exactly had happened earlier in the kidnap days. Why had he suddenly remembered that old debt if he was as calm as he had sounded? Besides, he had Tetsu by his side, hadn't he?

He remembered that lovely human being; who won't? Maybe it was because of Tetsu that Yuki… No, most likely. Sakura wasn't stupid. They hadn't found Tetsu yet.

There were so many things, too many things to brood about. He didn't know what he was doing as he put on his usual attire, and went to the said meeting place.

In the shadows on top of a short roof in the moonlit street, Hyde still looked the same as ever. Still as bewitchingly beautiful, in those long black gloves, hanging shawls. That face was just a slight bit tired, but. …Those large eyes shone so brightly, that the light in them was piercing to him.

"…Miss Hyde?" Those words slipped out awkwardly.

"Sakura, you're here." He could see someone, besides the two usual bodyguards, standing behind Hyde. He almost couldn't recognize the figure, it was upright and held itself with greater self-esteem, as if something was holding it up, now stronger than fate and even life itself. He started to understand, at least he thought so. And he remembered Yuki. A slight compassion flared in his heart before it was gone, like that gentle fleeting face. "Meet Tetsu, too."

Tetsu didn't say anything, but nodded gently with an acquired smile. Sakura nodded back; his smile even more awkward than his first words had been.

"Great. Sakura, I want you to accompany me when I visit the fighting scene later. Tetsu will remain with the bodyguards, because it's too dangerous. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Miss Hyde." He didn't want to question Hyde's authority. That incident with the car had scarred him a tad too much. No matter what happened in the time which he never knew of, it seemed like things never changed this Hyde that he knew—Despicable, sly, and undefeatable. He wondered why had he been called there? Other than to set up something which was more tormenting… Than hearing Tetsu's cries? He didn't understand.

He supposed he didn't have to—that was all part of the plan—he felt so tired, as if everything could collapse with just a touch. He wondered if one day he would be able to fall asleep into a sleep that was for eternity. Peaceful sleep which was like still waters underneath the shimmering moonlight.

Hyde glanced back at Tetsu, who looked back at him worriedly. Sakura realized that the bonds between the two of them was thicker than he had thought. If Hyde had done that to Tetsu, and Tetsu had stayed regardless… Then how deep would the love be? He felt slightly jealous at the thought of that—he had never been in love before, never in such a deep relationship. There were people he treasured, people he would protect if needs be, but… There would never be anyone whom he could hold at night and fall asleep with, there would never be anyone whom he could share unspoken thoughts with… Hyde had never been, Yuki would never be.

"Let's go." Hyde's deep voice rang out, almost shaking him to the core. It was time…

Sakura remembered Yuki, and wondered how he would do in the fight. He remembered the first time which he had seen Yuki, lying there unconscious with just one punch. He couldn't help feeling worried, that skinny kid needed more than a knife. "…….Are you still going to side with Migi?"

Hyde glanced up coldly. "I will not side with the clan which betrays, for certain. In fact, I'm here to see them defeated once and for all."

"…What about…Tsubomi?" Sakura didn't even know why he asked; he knew nothing about the secret societies, except for what Yuki told him.

"Tsubomi will not harm me for the time being," Hyde didn't seem so sure of himself. He looked forward as he spoke, walking steadily towards the edge of the roof. From there, they climbed down via a rung ladder. Hyde landed soundlessly, like a cat, and stealthily stood at the opening of the alley towards the street. Sakura followed, keeping himself hidden in the darkness. "…Let's watch."

"Are we going to fight?" Sakura wanted to know this time. It was still relatively empty, except for Tsubomi's clan members waiting at another junction to strike.

"No, we're not," Hyde replied. "Don't worry."

Sakura kept silent as they waited, like gargoyles watching hell being littered with oil ready for ignition. It didn't take long before one group came. Sakura guessed it was Migi, because Tsubomi's clan members crept forth. Not one member of Migi's noticed Tsubomi. Then, the third party came in; Sakura reckoned it was Yuki's clan. He had forgotten its name, but he could see that in numbers, they were not too little as well. With Tsubomi's help, they would surely win. Sakura relaxed a little.

"…Still as secretive as ever, huh, Hyde?" A voice made Sakura turn; it was with surprise that he saw someone had sneaked up behind Hyde so stealthily that no one noticed, not even Hyde himself. He rushed forward. Hyde had turned in response to that voice.

"Ken!" He hissed.

"You took up that position to side with Migi because you wanted to see my side lose. So, what are you doing here?" Ken asked nonchalantly, puffing on a cigarette like Sakura had remembered him to be.

Sakura had thought Hyde would say "none of your business", but Hyde simply turned away. "It's every right of mine to be here."

"With your bodyguard who didn't even notice me." Ken smiled, seemingly dangerous in the dimness. Sakura stiffened, wondering what he should do should this person threaten Hyde.

"He'll act fine, later. Besides, I don't have any doubts in my abilities—"

"Okay, he will." Ken didn't say anything anymore. Instead, he looked towards the direction of the people. It seemed to be by a shrill moment that everyone rushed at one another… . All in a millionth of a second… . . Yelling bloody murders and whatnot. He felt chilled to the bones at the thought of it; remembering how many people died in riots in modern history which he'd been forced through in high school…. .. Was it how it was like, then? Only this time it was for no good reason… again.

Where is Yuki….?! He thought anxiously, as an image of Yuki's hurt form flashed in his mind… again. There was no normal sixth sense, just some bloody revelation which spoke "Yuki's going to be killed, Yuki's going to be killed… ..". He wished he could kick himself for that insanity; it was useless.

Suddenly, he caught sight of that figure. Looking hilariously unfit for such an occasion, Yuki had ducked behind a car and people didn't even notice him. God… I should save him.

It wasn't as if he was Messiah. He glanced at Hyde, as if to ask for the next action. Hyde was slowly walking towards Sakura, looking dreadfully serious.

"Let's go."

"……..?!"

Hyde didn't care to explain. He continued walking, with nothing in his hand but possibly a gun which he kept hidden somewhere…

"You'll… Be killed, Hyde," Ken warned. "Even though I had warned my members to take care of you, I cannot guarantee—"

"I didn't ask that," Hyde replied coldly. "I must do it for the sake of looking like honor…. ."

"Hyde…." Sakura murmured, wanting to stop him as well. "Just let me go out. Okay?"

"Why, because your friend is around?" Hyde's mouth was about as sharp as his eyes. "You're my bodyguard."

Sakura breathed, "You look like you'd be hurt as well. What would happen to Tetsu if you were hurt?" …I wonder what would happen to me if Yuki was hurt. .. . …..

"It's none of your business. I would rather die than be humiliated by them and then let them go. Even if it is not for my own honor, it is for the visage of my honor in my clan." Hyde was unmoved. "You shall go with me, and watch my back." He stepped out to leave, looking as if he was wavering for a second, and then he glanced back at Tetsu, who was looking down with worried eyes.

Hyde smiled to indicate that he would be fine… .. Tetsu did not look convinced, and Sakura got the vague feeling that it hurt every second which passed for both Hyde and Tetsu… .to have Hyde going to such a dangerous place… Especially Tetsu, who couldn't accompany Hyde simply because he would be a burden if he did, yet he wanted so much to take care of Hyde. He felt positively envious again. Why did some despicable person like Hyde—even if he was lovely—why did he own the heart of such a beautiful person? Sincerely, he felt that he could possibly be much better…. .than Hyde would ever be… If he had someone like Tetsu, as warm and caring as he was. Someone so warm and caring that he was like a goddess; untouchable in an endearing sense.. ..

Right, he thought to himself. There has to be a better time to feel lonely. "I'll go in the name of Kokuryu."

"…You can't." That voice sounded vaguely grateful, but mostly determined. Sakura felt his heart budge. Honor was more important than his life.. ..and Tetsu? It didn't make sense. Hyde stepped forward again, this time, not stopping. "Come on."

He followed. He guessed that he could only go, like a marionette under Hyde's hands.

The shadows seemed to help cover them up, like the nights. Hyde watched what was outside from there silently, and then, with a motion to Sakura, he stepped out, with the bigger man standing behind his back. The scene in front of them was intimidating; people, men, were fighting against each other with hatred. Sakura saw that Yukihiro's clan had worn a headband and the other was wearing black armbands around their lower arms. Sakura thanked the high heavens that he did not see any knives, or hand held weapons. It was a more honorable fist fight, which would thankfully lead to less deaths and no mutilations.

As soon as they stepped out, Hyde rushed forward with an quick speed. His leg lashed out. From then onwards, Sakura felt as if he was in a Jacky Cheung (or any Hong Kong) show. He could not believe what he was seeing. ….Hyde was powerful. He wasn't only powerful, he was practically inhuman. No wonder he could become the leader of Kokuryu… .

He turned suddenly, on impulse, to see someone getting ready to punch him. He froze; of all things. Maybe it was the after effects of watching Hyde's power. It hit him hard and squarely on his right cheek. Suddenly his mind was awake; away from Tetsu's sad eyes, away from Hyde's abilities, away from his worry of Yukihiro…. And he fought. He just fought, technically, void of any feelings as if he was on the wrestling ring.

In that place, winning or losing was everything.

If he lost, he could never see Yukihiro again. If he lost, he could not fulfill his promise to protect Hyde. If he lost, he would slink away from Tetsu's gaze forever.

He couldn't lose.

Hyde, on the other hand, had more and more people crowding around him. The people of Tsubomi practically made a ring around him, protecting him from harm, and whoever dared come inside the circle was dealt with by Sakura himself. There was almost no one for him to fight, no one for him to prove his victory on anymore.

He moved to join the circle, mortally wounding anyone who came near it. It seemed better to be proud and endangered, than to be a coward and be safe. If he was just a normal person living in the city with his wife Tetsu, he would have thought otherwise, probably…

He stole a glance up at Tetsu, knowing that he would be given the strength…. ..

Tetsu was not there.

He gasped in shock, almost unable to dodge a blow in the process, and looked frantically around. The bodyguards were gone as well; probably with Tetsu…. ..Where could Tetsu be? Suddenly bowled over by this shock, he fought his way out of the circle, in an attempt to view a glimpse of his beloved.

It was a dangerous place….

The enemy was almost wiped out; being outnumbered by at least three to one. Still they fought, without fear…. Hyde was suddenly afraid. Not for himself, but….

"Hyde! Where are you going….!" Sakura yelled, upon seeing his exit from safety.

"Sakura! Tetsu… . Go and look for Tetsu right now!" He ordered.

"Yes…!" Sakura replied, fighting his way towards Hyde. It didn't take too long before they were side by side again; and together they were formidable. Still, for the twenty seconds which passed, it seemed as if an infinite amount of time were reigning…. .

Even the present was soon gone, as the enemy ran stumbling away from the victors in fear, like vicious dogs which had just learnt from a severe beating.

"…….Where is Tetsu…." Hyde breathed, unharmed except for a slight bruise on his cheek. "…Tetsu?"

"I don't see him anywhere…" He replied, hastily wiping his sweat away. Yuki was nowhere to be found…either….. "…Do you still want to look for him…?"

"Migi's members might be still lurking around for a chance to strike…" Hyde seemed uncertain. "….My bodyguards are with him…. We'll ask Ken."

The clan members fussed over the wounded, and Ken descended from the ceiling, with his own bodyguards. Things had to be sorted out; members were brought to the sick bay of his office building to be aided, and finally the rest were dispersed.

"Tetsu has disappeared?" Ken questioned, when presented with another situation.

Hyde nodded, sounding irritated, "Wasn't he on the same place as you were? Why did you allow him to sneak away like that?!"

"I have my own clan to direct, Miss Hyde." Ken replied evenly, taking out a cigarette. He held one out to Hyde, who took it with shaking fingers, and chewed on the butt nervously. "Besides, I never said I would be responsible for his safety."

"Ken….. … I have to look for him." Hyde seemed to be humbled for a mere moment, before he stood proudly and looked up with a demanding glint in his eyes. "Unless, of course, you're unwilling to."

"…Right….Without your men you can't do anything," Ken smiled mockingly, glancing once at Sakura, and his smile grew wider at Hyde's angered expression.

"….I have to look for a friend, too," Sakura hastily responded. "He's under the clan supported by yours…And I don't see him around."

"We'll search," Ken motioned to his men. "For you, Miss Hyde. And your bodyguard."

Hyde chewed on his lower lip, not saying anything. His heart was beating in worry for Tetsu….. The anger could come in later, when he was not alone… .. I must never underestimate Tsubomi. This fight has put Ken in a greater position… I mustn't… . Where the hell is Tetsu…?! Damn…Damn…..!

Accompanied by Ken and a few other men, they combed each street carefully. Sakura had decided to go a separate way; away from the men who had followed Hyde and Ken for protection.

His heart was almost in his mouth, wishing he could somehow, magically…. Do something. He thought he heard voices in the silence of the night alley… Towards those, carefully, he advanced.

"There… Yuki… I'll see if the fight is over…"

"….No.. Don't!"

"Tetsu?! Yuki?!" Sakura exclaimed, as he ran closer. The two stared at him in the darkness, surprised and relieved. Hyde's bodyguards got ready to fight Sakura, but Tetsu stopped them. "…Yuki, you've had me dead worried… And Hyde…. . He's looking for you everywhere, Tetsu."

"…I saw Yuki behind a car…. . Looking hurt and frightened, so I thought I'd go…" Tetsu explained.

"I'm not hurt that badly," Yukihiro sounded embarrassed; Sakura couldn't see his expression clearly. "I was just a bit dazed… and crouched behind a car while people fought their guts out……….." His voice faltered, as if he felt guilty. "…Sakura, I hope you're okay."

It seemed that Tetsu had told Yukihiro everything… Thankfully. "I'm fine. I'm a wrestler, Yuki….. I'll fetch Hyde now, okay?"

Yuki glanced once at Tetsu, who seemed only too happy at the notion of it. "…Un."

The mood fell.

Sakura turned, to run out of the alley, to find that Hyde was already standing at the entrance, in the light, advancing into the darkness which shrouded around him rapidly.

"…Tetsu, you were with him all along…?" Sakura thought he sounded mad. This was the tone which he had feared so much…. .. "So this is where you went…?"

Tetsu swallowed, looking nervously down onto Yuki, and back at Hyde. "Hyde, listen to me…"

"Do you know how worried I was? And here you are, all along! With this… Skinny guy! You just couldn't forget your lover, can you?!" Hyde yelled, his anger blossoming into full range.

"Hyde…"

"And you! Why didn't you stop him?!" Hyde glared up at the tall men who said nothing, standing behind Tetsu. "You could have, couldn't you? Why didn't you?!"

"We're… We're sorry, Miss Hyde…."

"Tetsu, you're coming back with me right now." Hyde roughly pulled Tetsu away by his hand, jerking him forward. Tetsu gasped, almost tripping on his high platforms. "I'll teach you…. I'll teach you not to cheat on me….."

"Hyde, Hyde….!" Tetsu protested, trying to struggle himself loose, only to have Hyde's hold tighten. Sakura could see how much it was starting to hurt, on the inside, when a glistening tear finally rolled down Tetsu's cheek, and fell.

"Let go of him, you…" Yuki cried, "It has nothing to do with him!"

"Hyde, it's not fair to judge him like that—" Sakura persuaded, not sure whether any one, even Tetsu himself, could stop Hyde's fury.

"I've known enough, Tetsu, I've seen enough and I've heard enough about you and him. Why can't you just forget about him….!" Hyde was like a blinded beast, unstopping at any reason. "You don't say anything anymore! I'll let you off, skinny, right now, but I'll guarantee I'll get back at you one day."

"Hyde—" Sakura stole a glance at Yuki's anguished face, and then at the sobbing Tetsu's.

"You're a bastard," Yuki spat coldly. "You're not even listening to Tetsu, or any of us, or even reason. You're just consumed by power, thinking that Kokuryu is going to be all you need and everyone will listen to you just because you are Kokuryu's leader."

"…You're lecturing me?" Hyde smiled, this time, a vicious smile which chilled to the bones. "We'll see, Yuki. Right now I want to deal with this dog which has just bitten its master's hand. Come on, bodyguards."

"Yes, Miss Hyde."

"Hyde…" Tetsu was crying now, openly.

"Tetsu……!" Yuki called with the last of his might, trying to heave himself up. He wasn't weak with wounds…… He was weak with danger. So pathetic…I'm so pathetic……

"Don't, Yuki……!"

They headed back into the main street, and disappeared from sight when the turned around a corner, into the mass of men whom Ken led.

Yuki was only staring blankly in that direction, as he slid strengthlessly back down into his sitting position against the wall.

"Yuki…" Sakura didn't know what to say. He held out his hand, for Yuki to take it.

Yuki looked up at him with a bitter smile instead, "…Sakura…I'm so helpless, aren't I? Letting my beloved be led away by the person who abuses him the most. I'm…Such a coward. I can't even fight, I….."

"…..Yuki…" Sakura held his hand back, and sat down beside him. "You know something…?"

"….I don't…"

"Should I start telling from the beginning…Or…?"

"…Wherever you want….."

"I see…." Sakura closed his eyes for a brief moment. He felt like he owed Yuki only so much; the truth. "Well… It starts with me being an underground wrestler who saw only victory as the real thing……."

*** 

It had taken so long for him to regain himself back, and yet it felt like fate had built him up only to crush him down, and down… .

Silence had reigned in the car just moment ago, until he had thought it would be safe to speak.

Tears had welled up in Tetsu's eyes grievously, as he nodded feebly, turning away to swallow all misfortunes by himself.

And then it was silence again. Tetsu wished he knew of a way to stop those tears; they kept falling and falling. Hyde had ordered a bodyguard to hand him a piece of tissue, but that was the closest Hyde ever spoke to forgiving him. He could predict that there was more to come.. … He could still remember how he was used as an instrument to taunt Sakura, and he could remember… ..

But… …

Along with these memories came the memory of Hyde spending days close with him, in a more recent time, instead of those far-off and faded memories…. .. He almost believed in love again. He thought Hyde would understand. He thought Hyde would listen to him, and care for him the way he did all along.

Hyde didn't.

Hyde so easily lost his trust towards him; so easily…. So easily he had lost his mind.

It was so scary. He didn't want such an angry Hyde… He didn't want a heartless Hyde… He just wanted the Hyde whom he knew. The Hyde… whom he had loved all along…. .

Yet, he didn't see the number of times Hyde had glanced at him, as he buried his face in his own hands. He couldn't see Hyde's pained expression, and neither did he see the tear which had trickled down Hyde's cheek and seeped through the white fabric… …

***

"So I thought, Tetsu had went back to Hyde…." Sakura couldn't bring himself to speak any further. Yuki's face was dark, scarily so. "…Yuki?"

"Don't worry yourself, Sakura…" Yuki replied, shaking his head. "I'm okay."

Sakura didn't believe him. "…Then I'll assume so."

"…I guess it leaves only us," Yuki stood up, shakingly, his wounds seeming to weigh him down. Sakura heard the heave in Yuki's chest, and he saw the dirt on his clothes. He felt compelled to help Yuki up.

"You're not hurt too seriously, are you…?"

Yuki smiled, a smile that was no more emotional than a stone. "I'm fine."

"…Okay."

Together, they stood up, and left the memory of the night in the dark alley.

***

The car had reached the destination already. They departed, from the car into the house. Hyde had still chosen to bring him back to that house… That cursed house which the both of them had shared. Tetsu couldn't comprehend why; it seemed no more a reason than to hurt him with the past.

That was what Hyde was capable of doing…. He was capable of anything.

He had known since the beginning. He wished love weren't quite so blind then. He wished he knew how blind he could have been, later, so that he could have ran away before he was hurt so much… Still he never did, even if he knew his own blindness.

The pain that was feeding on him, corroding him.. ..

"…Tetsu."

Tetsu looked up at the sound of his name. It had been so calmly spoken he wasn't sure if he had heard wrongly. Then again…. This tone could be the scariest tone ever. This was Hyde.

"Look here."

Tetsu's eyes turned, towards Hyde's lovely face, and tears began to roll down his cheek. "Hyde, listen to me…"

He was hopeless. Hopeless for being so hopeful. If Hyde had wanted to, he would have listened. He would have asked for an explanation, and even more calmly than this deadly eye of the storm, judge for himself. And then he would realize how wrong he was for ever bearing the notion of….

He didn't expect Hyde to do what he did.

He stepped forward, and sat down beside Tetsu, holding him tightly. "…I didn't mean to yell at you, Tetsu."

The closest Hyde had ever came to apologize was not even half of what he had said. Tetsu knew it, and for some reason, he didn't trust it. Maybe it was experience. Hyde never meant everything he did. Tetsu knew Hyde did; he felt a bit scared… Maybe because he thought he knew Hyde too much. Maybe because he had thought he knew Hyde's calm façade was only to accompany the flare-up later. "…I know."

"……." Hyde kissed him gently, on the lips, pushing him down onto the bed.

"………..Are you going to use that ploy again, the way you had tortured Sakura?" Tetsu murmured, closing his eyes. He would never have dreamt of saying it…. .. Not to Hyde…. …. .."We haven't anything between us… .I love you, Hyde…. Don't blame him for what he hasn't done."

"I believe you," Hyde smiled, sifting his fingers through Tetsu's brown strands of hair. Tetsu didn't believe that tone… .. He didn't…. .. But, he wanted to. He didn't want to think that Hyde was lying….. Because if Hyde was, that would mean that he didn't know Hyde anymore. No matter how Hyde had hurt him, Hyde would never lie to him.

Still, he let Hyde take his lips, sealing his breaths with his kiss… . In one place or another, this love was never forgotten. It felt so, as he was gently laid onto the soft sheets… And then….

***

For the fourth time, Yuki dreamt about Hyde and Tetsu, and for the fourth time, he woke up to find that he was all alone on the couch. The lights weren't lit, and he could almost see shadows dance in the shade of other shadows.

It felt like someone was watching him… And watching him….

He did not really care; neither did he feel uncomfortable. Instead, at the back of his mind tinkled Tetsu's laughter, and he almost saw Tetsu's silhouette. It faded away, and he looked out of the window. The night was so still, so serene…… It seemed so strange to acknowledge that the fight had only been a few hours earlier.

He wanted to laugh at himself for being silly; there was nothing worse than not being able to do anything for one's beloved. He felt so useless.

He wondered if Sakura was going to appear out of nowhere and comfort him again. He waited, but no one came. Maybe he should look for Sakura instead. Then again, maybe Sakura needed the sleep….. He seemed tired.

He tilted his chin slightly upwards. The serene night did not change, and neither did the fact that he was alone…..

All alone…………….

***

Early morning. Sakura had gotten up earlier to look for Yuki. The lonesome figure sat on the couch, his eyes wide and weighted with lack of sleep; his face pale and his clothes ruffled. It didn't make him feel any better to know that he should have attempted to comfort Yuki earlier before he fell asleep.

It seemed like a stupid thing to think about when and what he should have done, with things like comforting and sleeping, so he brushed the thought off his mind. "….Yuki?"

Those eyes stared through him blankly. "…What?"

It made him feel more guilty, and he fidgeted uncomfortably. He wished he wasn't so sleepy in the earlier night. "….Do you need anything?"

Yuki shook his head, looking down. The thing which he needed most never came.

"….Okay then………Do you want to go out?" Sakura could almost feel the air freezing into solidified ice. The tension strengthened, and he glanced at Yuki once. "…We should."

"What should never is," Yuki sighed, laying back against the couch. Sakura couldn't bear that blank face which stared at everything indifferently… ….

He liked a happy Yuki…. Maybe he didn't quite like being around a happy Yuki because it made him feel lonely, but still…….. .. "Okay…I'm sorry. I'll get some comics for you….?"

"Un….."

"Eva okay?"

". …Un…."

"…Have you heard about this comic about organized crimes and…?" Sakura was now desperate.

"…No…" The tone sounded all the same.

He gave up. Sighing, thinking that it would add some color to the dull surroundings, Sakura reached for the remote control and turned on the TV. He only saw Yuki stare through the thing… …

And that was the only thing which they did after they met…. Before Tetsu came. It was so peaceful, almost dull, but at least things did not seem so complicated right then.

Yeah, when the hell was that?! He sighed, and turned away. "I'm going out."

A part of him said that he felt happy that Tetsu wasn't around…. Ah, but what did he know? He wasn't Yuki; he would never understand how Yuki felt… ..

Then again, he himself, too, had lost an important person before.

How could he have forgotten the pain.. … .?

Had time passed by too fast, or was he so heartless to have allowed himself to be numbed by time…? On second thoughts, he turned again, glancing at Yuki once.

"…How do instant noodles sound?" Sakura asked, wishing he could do something… .. . "…I'll also be getting some snacks… .I'll probably have to work in the afternoon. …"

"It's okay… I need some peace…" It seemed for an even more shattering moment that Yuki found his smile…. . It was so painful that it was even more heart wrenching than that daze. "…..Take care, okay?"

"…I will… .. You too, Yuki." Sakura couldn't bear to go. Still, Yuki probably needed his own piece of space.. .

***

All around him was a blur of moving people. He didn't know why; his attention had been unable to focus on the trainers around him… Certain faces were floating back into his head. Yuki… And someone else.

Once again, he was hit by a fist which he had seen coming but was too much in a daze to dodge.

"What the hell are you doing, Sakura?!" His manager yelled. "Wake up!"

Sakura shook his head, and his lips curled into a grim line. Then he nodded slightly… Suddenly he saw someone at a corner of the training studio.

"…Hyde?!" He exclaimed.

"You would like to know that he's protected me in a fight before and has done a good job." Hyde told the angry man, who smiled timidly and gestured for Hyde to take a seat. "I haven't met quite such a good boxer, really."

"…Yes, Miss Hyde."

"He's been through some hard times, and he's my bodyguard. It's a hard job on him."

"…I'll make sure that he gets rested, Miss Hyde."

Upon hearing this, Hyde smiled, like a satisfied feline, and cupped his chin with his graceful white hands, looking up at Sakura expectantly.

"What?" Sakura asked, as he wiped the sweat off him.

"Is this the way to speak to me, Sakura?" Hyde's eyes narrowed. Sakura knew that this was only a look to scare people, and brushed it off none-too-gently.

"You already have Tetsu. The fight is over. Yuki's lost his beloved. What do you want?" He couldn't help but feel angry when he thought of Yuki's desolate frame. He knew that Tetsu never belonged to Yuki in the first place… He knew that Tetsu would return to Hyde, because he knew that Yuki's love was one-sided. He understood that Tetsu had only been driven to them because of Hyde's coldness…. .

But he couldn't have forgiven Hyde for that. Mistreating Tetsu, who loved him so dearly, trying to mess up Sakura's life like he was a toy, and even now, trying to hurt Yuki though he had done nothing wrong. He haven't seen Hyde actually try the last one, but he knew enough that Hyde would.

And this time, Hyde's looking him up meant no good.

"I'm not scared of you anymore, Hyde. If you still want me to be your bodyguard, I will, but it's because you're such a pathetic piece of shit who can't differentiate between love and hate and can't even protect yourself."

Hyde seemed to have been hit by those words, as he stared at Sakura with unbelieving eyes. Then he finally laughed. "Do you know that Tetsu said he loved me, and never Yuki? I had it taped down. Do you own a VCR, Sakura? I'm sure your friend Yuki will enjoy it so much."

"Why…You…." Sakura gasped, eyes wide with shock. He stuttered, trying to think of what to say for a moment through his growing fury.

Hyde's despicable face only laughed at him with contempt.

"How dare you do that!"

"Why not? Videotaping sex is known as kink," Hyde grinned, shrugging. "He's very beautiful during sex, you know. You and your friend should hear him yell out my name, and you'll know who's whose."

"….He should have left you long ago…And you'll see how pathetic you'll be when he isn't around. You don't deserve his love, or even one millionth of the power you own in your hands," Sakura whispered, from deep within his heart. "What you need is to learn how pathetic you are. Without anything…You won't even stand. And you take everything for granted…"

"You're just jealous, Sakura!" Hyde's grin turned into hideous laughter, as he got up from his chair, and pressed himself close to Sakura's body. His hand reached around Sakura's waist, and he held him tighter for a brief moment. "You can't deny that you lost to me, too. I'll never lose, Sakura. I'll never lose Tetsu. I'll never lose to that skinny bastard, or you for that matter. And as long as I'm around, Kokuryu will never lose to Tsubomi."

"You will," Sakura murmured bitterly. "You're scared of Ken."

"I'm just being cautious," Hyde retorted, as he moved away from Sakura's form. "And you're supposed to be my bodyguard. If you were anyone else, I would have shot you since the beginning of this pointless conversation."

Sakura sighed. He could never win. "What do you want?"

"To bid you goodwill and to give you an assignment, Sakura."

"What assignment? I'm not going to do it if I don't want to."

"It's nothing harmful," Hyde replied, as if he'd read Sakura's mind.

"I'll decide for myself. Spill it."

"All right," Hyde smiled knowingly. "I'll tell you. I want you to keep a close watch on a certain member of Kokuryu, to make sure that he is not going to rebel."

"…Who is he?"

"I'll give you the names later. They're not anyone whom you know of, I'm sure," Hyde smirked. "Really pretty innocent."

"You could have asked a detective," Sakura pointed out.

"I don't want to," Hyde replied tautly. "Besides, you need a job every now and then."

"I have a job," Sakura replied, gesturing to the boxing ring. "And I intend to work on it."

"You're a member of Kokuryu, Sakura. To get out of Kokuryu would only mean your death. That's the rules, Sakura. Even I can't change that."

"You're just twisting the rules to suit your own fancies," Sakura murmured bitterly.

"Suit yourself. I'll be giving you the details tomorrow," Hyde shrugged, and waved him farewell as he left with the two bodyguards who had waited by the door.

***

They still tasted the same, but something was different…

He awoke with a jolt. Blinking hard, his eyes grew accustomed to the dim light which barely illuminated that sleeping face beside him.

"…Hyde?" He murmured, knowing that he wasn't dreaming this time. There was a sense of comfort, and reality… ..That even he himself couldn't explain. Yet he couldn't believe it was true; that night Hyde had bore the same gentility… Reached out for him with the same touch…

Tears flooded his vision, as that sleeping face seemed to waver. I'm not dreaming again… What if he really feels that way…? What if… He doesn't trust me? ….I can't… ………..he doesn't love me…Does he? He's lying to me……He would never apologize to me……

Somehow, the dream seemed more real to him.

Looking down at that sleeping face, he felt ashamed for even thinking so.

…He shouldn't doubt someone whom he loved… After all.

……A small part of him said that it wasn't love…. .Just delusions.

That part seemed to nag at him, even as he gazed into Hyde's lovely features…. He knew that he only had the moment to treasure.

***

"Shimamoto…Doesn't sound like the names of anyone whom I've heard…" This made Sakura even more suspicious. "…What are you trying to do… Hyde?"

"It's an important job, Sakura," Hyde replied without hesitance. "At least for Kokuryu."

Hearing this, Sakura knew it seemed like the right thing to say. At least for Kokuryu. It seemed like what Hyde would say if he was going on an actual job, and it made him relax a little. Still, he knew enough to not trust Hyde at this point of time. "When do you want me to start?"

"Now?" Hyde looked like he was asking a redundant question. "Every moment is critical, Sakura. Idiots miss the moment."

Sakura felt like spitting on Hyde. "Are you calling me an idiot?!"

"What, I didn't say that. Are you admitting to being one?" Hyde smirked, pleased at the effect that it had on Sakura.

"Hmph…." Sakura turned away. "Shimamoto, the blonde guy in the pictures?"

"Yes, the man in the pictures. Tough, isn't he? If you can't handle him, I'll send someone else," Sakura knew that Hyde was taunting him, and reacted coldly.

"I'll go just so that you have no reason to bug me anymore. The station, two sharp?" He wished it would end soon….

"Yes. They will be there. Just make sure you follow them… And find out what they're up to."

***

The train station was too normal for his liking. It only made him sense that something was afoot, something which would hurt Yuki and him… .

That day, when he had returned home pondering over Hyde's words, and being angry at himself for not being able to do anything, Yuki had remained the same. He was sleeping, and when he woke up, he would stare mechanically at everything. Sakura felt like he would go nuts with one more moment like that. When Tetsu was kidnapped, he hadn't even been half stunned. He had been worried.

Sakura could understand half the reason; when Tetsu was kidnapped, Tetsu was still his. And it was every reason to make him flustered.

But Tetsu in someone else's arms… Namely, Hyde… Sakura knew Yuki too well. He had to keep reminding himself that they hadn't met for longer than a month.

Which would mean that Yuki had been with Tetsu for an even lesser time.

And he could love someone so much? Sakura felt like pinching the idiot and telling him to wake up. Tetsu had probably been with Hyde all along. An idiot could tell that Tetsu loved Hyde, no matter what Hyde did to him…. And vice versa. He knew he himself was possibly one of the greatest idiots who ever lived; and it was not because Hyde said so. Only idiots would trust people whom they didn't know, and only idiots would fall into Hyde's trap.

Which meant that Yuki was probably a greater idiot than he was.

"Shimamoto… Why isn't he around yet?" He murmured to himself. From the corner of his eye, he caught sight of a sneaky figure with another. They were talking… And they looked cautious. Sakura looked at the picture which he had stuffed in his wallet, and smiled. The blonde hair, that pretty face… It was him all right; at least the first step was completed.

They glanced around, and left without seeming to notice him.

He followed. The first step had been too easy…. He had expected more.

He tried to get closer so that he could hear what they were saying, if they spoke anything of importance. Yet they seemed to be able to keep a fair distance; Sakura suspected that they knew that someone was following them, even if they hadn't seen him.

They turned into a corner, in an isolated street, where a van was waiting for them. Obviously one of them was going to drive. Panicking, Sakura hid behind the wall, and waited for them.

"Come out. Aren't you under Miss Hyde? Or do you want us to find you?" Shimamoto spoke, his voice dangerously smooth. Sakura gulped.

He had been found out, after all.

"I know where you are, Sakura, Hyde's favorite bodyguard. We're no idiots."

Sakura cringed for a moment… They knew his name.. .They knew. How could they have known…? Unless someone told them.. .And no one supposedly knew but Hyde! The idea hit him hard, as he gritted his teeth at what Hyde was doing to him…. .What exactly did Hyde have in mind? Was he going to use him to torture Yuki…? Or?

He saw Shimamoto approach his hiding place slowly but surely… He got ready to run, but before he knew it, a gun was pointed at his head.

"Guilty until proven innocence," The other man laughed, and drove the van towards them.

"I should shoot you, but I won't." That was the last thing he heard. He saw Shimamoto whip out a handkerchief, and before he knew it, it covered his nose, and a strange smell filled his mind…

And then it was all black.

***

When he woke up, he was forced to take some strange medicine. Shimamoto had held it out enticingly, and then with threats, and finally pointed the gun at his head.

As soon as he did; he began to regret, at the same time his mind was filled up with strange colors. It didn't seem like his world anymore; it was too bright and colorful. He'd thrashed around, looking at everything, seeing everything as they should be instead of what they were.

Suddenly, he saw Hyde's face… Someone was there. It was Hyde, he thought. The lovely, despicable Hyde.

Hyde was looking at him seductively. He didn't voice a word, instead he was smiling. Everything wasn't like the vile danger which he'd known.

"Sakura…"

The atmosphere was choking him… .He breathed, and pulled off his black shirt.

"What are you doing?!" He didn't hear that….

Instead, he pushed this lovely figure down, onto the floor. It writhed beneath him, as he kissed that lovely face which he'd dreamt of holding long ago. It didn't matter that he had a heart of a beast; it wasn't love…. There was no need for love when it came to Hyde. He knew Hyde didn't love him as well… .And he already knew right after they met, that it was going to be a plain relationship of master and pet…

Hyde the master and him the pet…

He was sick of it, sick to the stomach. Hyde only loved Tetsu anyway….

He let his lips travel down, engulfing every inch of this 'master'. He wanted to be the master instead.

"Stop it… ..Saku.. ." That voice faded off into cries of agony, yet none of it entered Sakura's mind.. ..What filled it was Hyde's lovely voice, speaking his name, over and over again.

"You know I've always wanted you like this…." Sakura smirked, his hand caressing the thin thighs, the other on those arms. "Let me in."

It didn't take long for him to tear off Hyde's clothes. They were still the same white; as he'd known they were.

He slipped out of his leather pants as well; and pulled Hyde's arm, hoisting him up to the wall. He pressed Hyde against it, nudging Hyde's legs apart, and fucked him till he was exhausted…

He finally pulled Hyde down to sleep with him. By then, Hyde had already lost all movements… .Sakura didn't realize that, and neither did he see tears falling from those lovely eyes.

***

When he opened his eyes again, there was a strange sense, as if something was wrong.

He could hardly remember anything that happened after being chloroformed, but as soon as he saw the cold blood on the floor… And he himself naked… He pulled his clothes towards himself, and put them on. They were torn slightly… He knew what he must do. …Remember.

Biting his own lips hard, Sakura's fingers traced the thin lines on the floor… Was it Hyde's face that he saw? …He'd raped Hyde? Impossible… Hyde was strong… .but it was Hyde all right…

His brows furrowed when he saw the torn pieces of fabrics. They weren't white; instead, there was a blue shirt with a cat's face on it… .It was familiar. He had remembered Hyde wore white… ..

That shirt… wasn't it the one which he had bought for Yuki when Tetsu was around the other day….?

He gasped in realization. He didn't want to believe; but it seemed only logical that it worked out…

He'd been drugged, maybe by Ecstasy or it's sisters. He had seen Yuki… And mistook him for Hyde!

"Yuki… Yuki?!" He murmured, suddenly frantic. Yuki was the only one whom he was left with.. .He couldn't lose him…! As soon as he thought of it, he'd looked up, trying to think of means to escape… He saw that the door was open, so much unlike having him in captivation… "Yuki…!"

He barged out of the door. The living room wasn't his; nonetheless, a quick search was sufficient to tell him of someone's presence. There wasn't anyone there. To his right was a window… To his left, a room with closed doors.

He approached the room…

There was no one, upon a quick glance. However, something caught his eyes…

There was blood. One or two ruddy drops… But they were there.

Sakura moved closer, and peered behind the cupboard. …A shivering form was there…. It was Yuki. Yuki looked up, eyes red from crying.

"Yuki… Are you okay?" He asked, squatting down in front of Yuki, worriedly putting his hand onto Yuki's shoulders.

"…." There was no reply. Yuki only stared up at him with eyes which blamed him; eyes so full of hatred and betrayal…. ….It almost killed him. He wished that Yuki would yell, beat him, cry, or shout at him.. .anything… Anything but this dreadful silence.. …

"Yuki…." Tears entered his eyes as well. "…Have you started to hate me?"

Yuki only looked at him… And turned his head away.

"…Yuki….!" Sakura cried, but all that greeted him was Yuki's impassive face. "…I didn't mean it…."

"……" A smile slowly grew on Yuki's lips. His eyes…. .They were still the same, still full of hatred. Sakura gasped; he had never seen a Yuki like that… ..It was scary. "Sakura… Now I know that I can't trust anyone anymore."

"….Yuki… I didn't…"

"Not even you." Yuki murmured, hoisting himself up. The pair of pants which he wore was torn, too… And it was all Sakura's doing. "….I'll never trust you again."

"….I didn't…" He repeated, tears suddenly pouring down. "…It wasn't me……"

It was still the same smile, the same eyes…

He grimaced slightly as he moved, but it didn't seem to stop him. Sakura could only watch as he was left alone… Once again… ..By his most important and only friend… ……………"It wasn't me…! Yuki! It wasn't me…….."

Yuki didn't look back, as he left the place.

His eyes closed on their own accord in despair… He fell to his hands and knees, tears freely flowing down…

"….Yuki……………!!"

***

"Shimamoto, you've done a good job." The white figure smiled in satisfaction. "…..Even the camera skills are great."

"Yes, Miss Hyde. It's been far easier than I've expected… I thought it would be more work than that…He fell into the traps like a blinded beast," The blonde replied, a proud smirk on his face. "Miss Hyde….Have you forgotten something?"

"Of course not. You haven't told me what you want, Shimamoto." Hyde tossed his black curls back behind his shoulders, his eyes on the television screen. "Name it, and if I will, I will give it to you."

"….I'll be rude, then."

"I'm waiting," Hyde said, peering at the pretty face of the blonde.

"……It's not money or position that I want, Miss Hyde…"

"You know position isn't given easily, and money is earned. But why don't you want them?" Hyde looked surprised.

"If I said that it was you whom I want, what will you do?" Shimamoto's pale blue eyes adverted Hyde's. "I want you, Miss Hyde."

"…There's something which you should know, Shimamoto," Hyde's face darkened, making the latter stiffen in shock. "Your place. I choose whom I want, and I will get it. But no one chooses me. Not even Tetsu."

"…..Really…I know, Miss Hyde." The blonde smiled sadly. "I knew all along."

"Would cheque be okay?"

"….Yes."

"Here you go," Hyde picked up his pen, took out his checkbook, and wrote a sum on it, before signing on it. "…Make good use of it. You're pretty, you can get yourself a life with a good girl or boy. Whichever you prefer."

"…..Yes, Miss Hyde," Shimamoto nodded obediently, and took it over. "…thank you."

***

He didn't want to return home… Knowing that Yuki would not be there. Knowing that he would all be alone… Because he had spawned something with his own hands.

He should have known. Should have known that getting involved with Kokuryu would only get him into trouble.. …

In the first place…..

Sakura wandered on the streets, his eyes not taking anything into his mind. Not knowing what to do…. Or look for. Only knowing that he was all alone……..

"Yuki…." His voice came out in a pained whisper. "…You won't believe me now…?"

Of course… There was no one to listen to the sound of the rains in his own heart… .There would be no one to cheer him up, or care for him anymore.

***

"Tetsu.." Hyde's voice suddenly penetrated through the tranquillity of the night. Tetsu's eyes opened slowly, making a slight purring sound as he stirred.

"…Nnn…?" Those eyes were filled with sleepiness, yet still so beautiful.

"…Something has been bothering me, Tetsu." Hyde looked perplexed, and Tetsu found himself listening…. With all his attention, with all his concern.

"…Tell me, Hyde…"

"…I'm not sure… Tetsu… I don't know if it's okay." Hyde looked away gently. "I'm not sure about it myself. It's just hearsay…. From my one of my men who used to know Migi."

"…Migi?" Tetsu raised an eyebrow. He would have suspected that Hyde had been up to something… Had Hyde not looked so troubled and hesitant. Tetsu knew Hyde all too well; Hyde would never feel hesitance if he meant to torture Tetsu. "What happened?"

"Well…. I'm not sure—" Hyde sighed, his fingers twiddling with the covers. "…It's not something that I should have known."

"…..Tell me if you think you should, Hyde," Tetsu decided to tread carefully instead. He didn't want to end up crying after such a lovely night; he wanted, as carefully he could, to preserve his dreams and hopes for as long as possible. Even if they were only dreams and hopes which deluded him. "But…..Don't lie to me."

"What are you saying, Tetsu, that I'll lie to you!?" Hyde's eyes grew wide, and his worried gaze suddenly changed to one of a dynamite. He glared up mercilessly at his lover, who smiled sadly.

"….I know you won't, Hyde…. I believe you." As long as you believe me, I'll believe you… I guess.

"Then I'll tell you," Hyde turned away, not facing Tetsu. "But it'll hurt you. I don't want to hurt you."

Tetsu swallowed. Hyde… Doesn't want to hurt me? "Don't worry, Hyde… What is it?"

"….It's about your friend, Yukihiro…"

He gasped.

"I shouldn't tell you…" Hyde murmured.

"What is it, Hyde?" He almost pleaded, knowing that something was definitely wrong. "Tell me!"

"If you want to know…."

"I want to know!" Tetsu almost demanded, and he cringed upon remembering that no one demanded anything out of Hyde. He half expected Hyde to yell, to be angry, but Hyde did nothing of that sort. He continued to stare far away.

"I heard that he… He got Sakura to deal with drugs, and seduced Sakura."

"…What?!" It sounded like something which Hyde would do, not Yukihiro. Tetsu could hardly believe his ears. "…Who did you hear it from, Hyde…"

"My follower. I can't reveal to you who." Hyde then looked back with pitying eyes. "…Are you okay, Tetsu…?"

"I… I'm fine. I just don't believe it," Tetsu gasped again, as if it would calm his beating heart. "…It doesn't seem like what he will do."

"You never know," Hyde murmured, smiling sympathetically. Hyde had been too nice for Tetsu to not suspect anything; but upon remembering the past days, Tetsu thought that he should be giving Hyde a chance. It did seem like Hyde had changed quite a lot, especially with his attitude towards Tetsu…. "I know these men in gangs. They'll do anything to earn a quick buck and some sex."

It seemed like he was no longer as possessive of Tetsu as he was, and trusted Tetsu more. Tetsu had never left the house, however… He wasn't sure if Hyde would be that way if he had tried to……. The dream was proof of his fear. Still, Hyde had sounded like he was gloating, and Tetsu didn't like that. He knew Yuki; at least he tried to think so. "Hyde, Yuki is not just a man in a gang. He can't fight for anything and he gets hurt rather than hurt people. I know him, Hyde. Are you behind this?"

After voicing his suspicions, he studied Hyde's face, knowing that he would explode, and dreading so. Hyde's expression was at first deadly, then it turned sad. His lower lip trembled. Tetsu watched in fascination, not knowing that Hyde would react in this 'un-Hydely' way.

"…I'm sorry, Hyde! I didn't mean to say that…"

"I know you won't trust me. That's half the reason why I didn't want to tell you. Besides, you love him, don't you? You love him, not me. So you prefer to trust him." Hyde turned away, brushing off Tetsu's hand which had tried to touch his shoulder. "I should have known."

"…..I…" Tetsu looked sadly at the back view of Hyde's. Dark curls cascaded down that pale back, seeming even more ghostly in the dim moonlight. "I don't love him, Hyde…. I love you. I didn't mean it… I…"

"Enough. You would rather trust him. You said I'm behind it." Tetsu couldn't tell if Hyde was toying with him; the words seemed so fake. Yet his voice was pained; Tetsu was sure it was.

"I said I didn't mean to say that….." Tetsu almost didn't know what to do. It seemed that Hyde was really hurt…. Which didn't seem like the relationship belonging to them. Usually, he would be hurt, and he would be the one to come flocking back even though he didn't like being hurt. And Hyde would enjoy hurting him again and again. But now… It felt so strange, as if some balance had been upset. "I didn't!"

"…Really…" Hyde finally turned, to reveal that his eyes were glimmering with hints of tears.

Tetsu felt his heart wrench; it seemed like Hyde was really…. He reached forward, as if towards a child who needed comfort, and held Hyde tightly, and closely.

Hyde had changed for him….

Hyde would never hurt him again….

At least, he thought so. "I love you, Hyde."

"….So do I."

The pale moonlight was as still as it could be that night. No one noticed its augury, as it flooded the earth with its revelation, almost as if it was telling a story which was inevitable. Yet it continued watching silently, sadly… Like Tetsu would have watched Hyde some time ago. Unwaveringly. It shone down onto the two figures beneath, as it would on anyone else…. And it continued watching, as the atmosphere below changed from a sad blue hue to that of a fiery red… And changed back again, as the two held each other in their sleep.

The cold moon reflected the hidden truths of all human.

Hyde watched Tetsu's sleeping face, and smiled, under that moonlight, his usual smile. His usual deceiving and utterly base smile; a smile which showed his true self. That smile was filled with something which would never have existed as he faced others, however.

It was the hint of affection which seeped through that vileness, almost like the look that a serpent would give its furry prey before it struck.

*** (it's hard to write when you're not depressed…^^; ..whoa! I typed 666 words!)

Sakura almost didn't see the figure which approached him stealthily like a cat would have approached its prey. When he did, he looked up, his eyes wide in shock. Then he smiled bitterly. "….Shimamoto, if it is your name?"

"Right on. It's my name," The blonde peered down at him, and held out a bare hand. "You may call me your friend now."

"……..Friend?" Sakura laughed, his hard laughter echoing from where he sat, down the street. "Yuki was my friend. He cared for me. He was there at the right time and place. You?! Friend?"

The blonde withdrew his hand, and put it to his forehead, toying with his own tousled hair. "Let's just say, if you allow me to stand on the same side as you, Yuki will forgive you."

"…..He'll never forgive me," Sakura smirked. "I deserved it. I deserved it for being such a busybody in the first place. It never pays to care, huh? Like it didn't pay him to care for me."

"…He will. I'm from his clan, to tell the truth."

"Really?"

"I deceived him, saying that you were sick. I made him come over to my house, and left him to find you. Of course, you had taken the medicine by then." Shimamoto smiled and continued, "And if not for Miss Hyde's trust, I would have been dead by now for telling you."

"…Hyde?! Hyde…! What the fuck…. He.. Why can't he just let me go….!" Sakura yelled, his nails digging harder into the dust on the asphalt. "…That bastard…!"

"I videotaped it, and Miss Hyde is going to show it to Tetsu."

"I… I knew it….." Sakura murmured, suddenly grabbing hold of his own hand with the other, and bit his lower lip till it bled. "I knew it…… ..You! Why are you telling me all these?!"

"I'm only an escort, I do what I'm told to do. But I'm here for my own motives as well. Yukihiro is right now staying with me, of course in my apartment further from town."

"…What do you want?" The blood tasted slightly coppery. He felt numb, as he licked the wound tenderly. His hands gripped himself tighter, as if he was afraid that he would break apart.

"I want Miss Hyde."

The statement shocked him to the bone, as he suddenly blinked and bolted up with a hidden strength. "Miss Hyde…?! You crazy?!! Hyde's such a… He's despicable! You why… Why?!"

"Because I love him," The blonde smiled calmly. "Simple as that."

"…...I don't understand." Sakura shut his eyes tightly, as he felt his feet waver. He knew he was going to faint, and he only realized so as he steadied himself against the wall. "How someone can love him. Tetsu did… You too. Even I was deceived at one time…. How can such a person…"

"We probably did something wrong in our past lives," Shimamoto replied nonchalently, as he reached forward to support Sakura. It was only then that Sakura realized that this man was of smaller built than he was; slimmer and thinner, and two inches shorter. "…Don't faint. I need your promise."

"….I'll go…… If Yukihiro is there…." He shook his head feebly, and leaned onto the smaller man. "…….If Yuki… Will forgive me……….."

"Yukihiro always does, Sakura. It just takes a longer time this time…."

"……Why… Do you approach me?"

"I don't like you or feel any remorse, in case you're thinking so. And I don't care much for Yukihiro either, at least not as much as Hyde," Shimamoto led Sakura into the van, to find that he had already lost consciousness. Smiling to himself, he continued, to the sleeping Sakura, "…And because…. I can't kill Tetsu…nee."

***

When Sakura opened his eyes again, it was dusk outside and the house was flooded with an orange hue throughout. He blinked, not feeling comfortable with himself, and when his vision adjusted he saw a familiar face staring down into his. He almost thought he was dreaming, and immediately went back to sleep, had that person not tugged at his arm. It was real, all right.

"Sakura," The voice said, as Sakura finally opened his eyes.

"…Yu…ki?" He felt revived, but strengthless. "….Is that you?"

"It's me, Sakura," Yuki was sitting beside him on the bed, and he shifted his weight to pull Sakura up. Sakura thought it was a wonder he didn't topple over; Yuki had been so thin. "Shimamoto told me all about what happened."

His head throbbed, once he sat up. "…..What did he say?" He wished that Shimamoto had told him earlier. He knew that the guy was designed to not tell the truth, somehow.

"About your being drugged, and all…. Said it wasn't your fault, and he shouldn't have left the medicine around, and it's just an accident." Yuki sounded awkward. "…have you eaten…?"

Sakura shook his head; he hadn't eaten since Yuki left him. It was morning when he met Shimamoto, and the day before was the incident, so it meant that he had been wandering for two nights and one day approximately. Yuki smiled gently, his actions seeming even more awkward than his presence was. He left the room, and Sakura mused as he admired Shimamoto's abilities to twist realities into stories. Yuki returned with a bowl of noodles, setting it by the bedside.

"…..Can you sit?" Yuki asked, and Sakura crawled to the edge of the bed.

"…It doesn't seem nice to eat on people's bed sheets." He said, getting up.

"……Shimamoto won't mind," Yuki told him, but picked the bowl up anyway, and followed Sakura. The smell almost made Sakura drool; he gobbled it down once they settled by the kitchen table. Sakura had just about finished his noodles, and looked up to find Yuki gazing at him.

He blushed, pulling himself away, "…What…?"

"Is it true that you were out on the streets all day… After…" Yuki blushed as well.

"…..Yeah," Sakura murmured, not daring to look at Yuki. It felt even more weird. So what…? He wanted to ask but was afraid.

"…….I'm sorry."

"…Eh…? No, it's not your fault, I…." Sakura hurriedly said, but Yuki shook his head. "…It's just not right to forgive your friend right after he has raped you, damn it. …You did what any normal person would."

Yuki's eyes were wide, and suddenly he picked the bowl up. It seemed that he had changed…. Sakura racked his brains as to what, and he saw that Yuki was acting even more strangely than the first time they met. And he had gotten out of his daze as well… Thankfully or what, Sakura heaved a sigh of relief.

Then Yuki changed the subject. "I heard that you're going to help find Tetsu."

"…Yeah," Sakura murmured, not so sure as to what the hell Shimamoto told Yuki. He guessed that he had to play along.

"Don't… Sakura…"

"…Why?!" Sakura exclaimed, immediately sitting upright. After his dinner—since it was sunset it might as well be dinner—he had more strength. "….Don't you love Tetsu?"

Yuki smiled sadly. "…That's why, Sakura……"

"But.. .He shouldn't be with Hyde! Didn't you see how Hyde treated Tetsu?!" Sakura resisted the urge to reach out and shake Yuki.

"I was thinking, Sakura… If he really felt bad, if he didn't have the heart to forgive Hyde every time… Would he still be there? He could have run away… If he really wanted to be by my side, he would have been. He's not the sort to sit still and mope and say that life treats him unfairly, Sakura…." Then he faltered. "…Like me….That's why…. I think I can forget him if I want to…… ."

"But…" Sakura wondered about Shimamoto, but decided that he had better either agree or shut up. "…Okay."

"..Thanks, Sakura. You're so kind," Yuki turned away, and Sakura saw that his moments lacked the usual silent grace which he owned…. He was walking strangely.

He almost hit himself when he remembered the blood, and realized that it was probably due to his own actions. Angrily, he pounded his fist onto the table. "…Damn it, Yuki…."

***

When Hyde returned, it was somewhat late. Tetsu had wanted to leave the house earlier in the day, but he realized that he had been locked in.

He would have to ask if he wanted to leave. He clenched his fists tightly, not sure what would happen if he did ask. But… The dream which he had been trying so hard to preserve…

He wanted to open his mouth, but upon seeing Hyde's smiling face he would shut up. Then once Hyde turned away, he knew that it was what he wanted… He suspected that Hyde still didn't trust him enough. It seemed impossible for Hyde to even remotely treat him nicely, and the next thing he knew was that Hyde was acting even nicer than he was at the beginning.

At the beginning….

He supposed he was thinking too much of the past.

If he hadn't done so, maybe he would have forgotten his love for Hyde and went on with his life. Still….

He couldn't bring himself to not remember. Especially when he was locked in and had all the time in the world to think…

He supposed he knew Hyde said it just to see him bustling in the kitchen, it always seemed that way. And once in a while Hyde would cook for him, too…. Hyde was a better cook than he was, but so seldom he ever tried his hands on it. Sometimes, Hyde would make him wear a lacy apron and nothing else. He had been bashful, but Hyde always said that he liked to see the mark on Tetsu's skin.

He liked what happened after he cooked, too—sometimes they would just settle down for dinner, other times, they…. It would probably be nicer to say 'ate' each other instead of the food.

Just looking at that figure, all these would flood to his mind…

How could he leave Hyde…? It was a cruel memory disguised in a sweet appearance, he thought. At least it seemed so to him…. At least he had Hyde returning home every night now.

At least he didn't have to spend the whole time weeping and thinking about who Hyde was sleeping with.

Still, he felt far from reassured; something would crop up. They always did… Especially when Hyde was around. Especially… . He didn't know why.

Then Hyde would turn around and smile at him again, and then… His thoughts would be gone. Just like that…. That lovely face….

And it seemed strange, especially if the two of them were doing entirely different things at one time. He wished Hyde would play poker with him as Yuki did, but he didn't suppose he wanted to ask. No one asked Hyde to do anything, except Kokuryu's leader at one point of time. Now… He was Kokuryu's leader.

Right then, he knew something would separate them.

Things always did.

He thought he wanted to ask Hyde how he did at work, like he used to… But that was because Hyde would tell him. He kept quiet, while the inner him writhed in discomfort. Maybe if he asked, Hyde would tell him.

Still, he didn't….

Until Hyde turned around and told him that he wanted to watch the sunset, or the moon, or whatever.

They used to wander out into the forest, when they were still in that olden house which belonged to Hyde… After the fight, they were in the middle of the city, and they spent it inside the apartment. Now, it didn't change the beauty of these natural things, but Tetsu felt as though something was lost in the city, and it made him feel nostalgic.

Sometimes, he wondered if it was the city which made Hyde lose his humanity.

Still…

"….Tetsu," Hyde was looking even more troubled right then. "I heard from that clan member again."

Immediately Tetsu knew which one Hyde was referring to. One thing about Tetsu which was different from the others was that he knew Hyde too well, and still loved him. Which probably meant why Hyde loved torturing him so much. "…What…Why?"

Seeing Tetsu's worried expression, Hyde shook his head. "…..No…"

"Don't leave it like that, Hyde." Tetsu sighed, settling down beside him on the couch. He had been sitting by the table writing some stuff.

"…But it'll hurt you."

"……..You brought it up, Hyde….." Weren't you most keen on hurting me once? He wanted to add, but even if he wanted to, he knew he couldn't. "So just tell me. It's about Yuki again, isn't it?"

"…..Yes." Hyde adverted his gaze uncomfortably, and finally said, "…I'll show you something……"

Tetsu suddenly felt his heart stop beating. Like a sleek cat, Hyde had moved towards the VCR, and pulled out the tape which was inside previously. He stuck in another, and pressed the play button. On the TV screen were images of two people writhing about….

"Where did you get the tape from?!" Tetsu exclaimed in horror. Hyde… Hadn't changed. Hyde was still the deceiving Hyde whom he knew… And that innocent expression which Hyde gave him wasn't convincing him anymore. He suddenly realized…

"That clan member said that Yuki borrowed his house… And forgot the tape in there. ….I said you'd be hurt, Tetsu. I didn't want to show you." He was giving an 'I-told-you-so-but-I-don't-wish-so' expression, like a kid.

"……I don't believe you… Hyde…" Tears started cascading down Tetsu's cheeks. He looked into Hyde's face painfully, and whispered, "You just wanted to get back at us, didn't you…?"

"….But Tetsu! I didn't…." Hyde's expression was one of innocent horror, as if he was accused of something which he never did. "…I didn't…. I never blamed you."

"Please… Stop acting, Hyde." Tetsu almost pleaded, as he fell to his knees, sobbing. It was as if he couldn't hold himself upright any longer, and had lost all strength in his being. "…..Please, Hyde… I love you…"

Hyde's smile was no longer pure, suddenly. It looked as if he was feeding on Tetsu's tears, as if something inside him was thirsty for more.

So, this is your true form…. Tetsu thought. You would even deceive me so that you can hurt me later.

"I love you too, Tetsu." Hyde moved towards Tetsu, and picked him up with gentle hands. He tried to look into Tetsu's eyes, but Tetsu's gaze only reached his chest, as if he saw nothing in front of him. He shook Tetsu, and tried to bring him level to his stare. Yet Tetsu sagged against his hold like a puppet, his tear-stained face expressionless.

Giving up, Hyde tried to pull him towards the room, but Tetsu had fallen to the ground again. He looked fed up, and lifted Tetsu's chin with one hand, directing him towards the television.

"And Yuki doesn't. Your skinny doesn't."

"…I would rather love him than you," Tetsu finally choked. He saw Hyde's eyes widen, but suddenly he didn't care anymore. He shut his eyes and waited for the blow to come.

But Hyde didn't. Instead, he dragged Tetsu towards the room, none-too-gently this time, like a scavenger dragging a dead corpse to its lair. He laid Tetsu down onto the bed, and kissed him roughly. Tetsu wanted to yell, but his voice was muffed away by Hyde's devouring kiss, and he let himself lie resigned against the bed.

***

Shimamoto's cigarette fell from his lips when he heard Sakura's speech. He dived to retrieve it, and the butt snuffed out on his finger, scorching it. "Ow! Damn you, Sakura!"

Sakura smirked. "I'm sorry."

"Quit grinning like an idiot," Shimamoto sounded gruff, as he dumped it onto the stony steps below, watched its orange sizzle out like the sunset, and sighed resignedly.

"Sorry," Sakura apologized, but his expression wasn't helping. "It's just that you look like a friend of mine."

"Oh."

"And he's dead," Sakura said casually, at Shimamoto's raised eyebrow.

"All right. I don't care," The blonde finally shrugged, and picked up his bottled strawberry mineral water. He took a sip, and set it back at the edge of the step. "You are not going to help find Tetsu?"

"Yuki told me not to."

"Right. If Yuki told you to jump off the building you would," Shimamoto seemed irritated.

"If it was under the right circumstances, I'll consider," Sakura wanted to laugh at the blonde's expression, but decided not to. After all, it wasn't nice….

"Well, you promised to do anything if I could get you to Yuki. And I did. So you do what you owe me," Shimamoto told him. Sakura obviously had forgotten about the entire scene where he met Shimamoto; and he definitely didn't remember what Shimamoto said about wanting Hyde. The blonde had realized that; anyway it suited his purpose better.

"….Okay…" Sakura murmured. "…'Sides, I don't trust Hyde to treat him properly. Yuki probably would."

"Who said anything about Yuki?"

"Yuki and Tetsu are a couple, don't you know?" Sakura's jaw dropped.

"I heard, but Hyde chose Tetsu," Shimamoto paused a little, and picked up the bottle again. "Anyone Hyde chooses is his."

"That's on the surface," Sakura argued.

"Oh, yeah, right." Shimamoto smiled at Sakura's expression when he realized that he hadn't any reasons to add to that; Tetsu's situation with Hyde didn't help. "You just don't want to admit that he owns everything and you don't. You're jealous, Sakura, J-E-A-L-O-U-S."

"I won't be of that trash," Sakura replied indignantly.

"Face it, Sakura. You've fallen in love with Tetsu as well."

"What?!" Sakura's voice suddenly rose, and the birds flew away with a flutter of wings. Realizing that he had yelled a tad too loud, he immediately hushed and turned beet-red.

"Sheesh," Shimamoto shook his head. "I was just joking."

"Please! Don't make these kind of jokes, Shimamoto."

"Okay, okay. Let's get on with it," The blonde took out another cigarette, lighted it, and placed it between his lips. "You just reacted too much, Sakura. If it were anyone else they would have thought you've fallen for him."

"Shimamoto!" Sakura waved his fist at him.

"Huhuhu… Right." Then he coughed, sounding serious. "Let's get on. …We are going to find Tetsu, and bring him here."

"Uh huh."

"So…. The plan…. …….." Shimamoto continued, in a calm manner, and Sakura found himself listening attentively with newly gained respect for this youth.

***

When Tetsu opened his eyes tentatively, he knew that he had fainted earlier. He hoped Hyde wasn't around, but he was. At least he saw the small, bare back which faced him. Tetsu blinked to make sure that he hadn't been having illusions, even though he knew he wasn't.

Hyde probably was the only person who would have his back face him after doing what he did last night, Tetsu sadly mused. And that would be because he had no worry of revenge.

Hyde knows I wouldn't hurt him, Tetsu thought, and he is right.

He hoped Hyde won't wake up… He wanted to watch Hyde like that, from behind. He could see the smile on Hyde's face, in his mind's eye, which looked like a slut. And he could see Hyde's face with an fury which raged on inexplicably and scared everyone.

He wondered if, once Hyde woke up, he would be able to escape.

He wondered if he'll be able to escape at all.

Hyde had never really locked him in… Not for a long time. And neither had he thought he could live like that without Hyde's presence.

If one set his mind to a notion, the notion would be the leading point of that person's events of life.

At least… Now, he had a clear aim…. A clear mind….

And now he didn't have to hesitate about where he would go… Sakura's place. At Sakura's place, there would be Yuki, there would be happiness and warmth. There won't be any time for hurting memories, because they would be having fun playing poker. And then he could cook for someone like he had did years ago… And they would appreciate what he was doing, and Yuki would never hurt him.

That was the only thought in his mind, as he gingerly got up, trying not to cause any ripple effects on the bed….

"Tetsu."

He froze; every strand of hair on his body stood on ends. The voice, he had most reasons to fear right then.

"Tetsu? Look here, Tetsu." Hyde commanded, from where he sat. Still, Tetsu's back faced him, and Hyde frowned. "I'm sorry, okay?"

No answer.

"…. .Are you hurt? I didn't mean it, okay?" Hyde finally decided that he wasn't going to wait for Tetsu to respond. He rested his hand on Tetsu's shoulder.

"…. ..I hate you, Hyde." Tetsu whispered, this time, coldly, void of emotions as he stared straight ahead. "You're worse than a beast."

"Shut up," Hyde snapped, suddenly gripping tighter, and pulling Tetsu back onto the bed.

"I hate you." Tetsu stared straight into Hyde's own eyes, and as he saw the flickering in Hyde's eyes, he smiled. "You'll never deceive me again, Hyde. You can't hurt me anymore, because I don't love you."

"What do you think you are?" Hyde's eyes widened, as he hit Tetsu on the face. It turned red, and Hyde immediately regretted it. Almost apologetically, he murmured, "…..Tetsu."

Tetsu smiled at him with the same smile. "Yuki will be different. I finally realized that, Hyde. There's no use hoping that you'll remember what it used to be like, and becoming what you were. You're just what you evolved to be, Hyde…."

He breathed, as Tetsu's eyes seemed to flood with tears, even as those cruel words spilled out of his mouth like poison…

"You're just another of them city creatures, who don't know what is love and pretend to love. You play around all you can thinking you're the best hunter of all, and then when you look around, all your preys are gone, because they aren't serious. Even if they were, they would have realized you're not serious and would have gone away… And it's all your fault. You'll be all alone one day, like all of them…. .Because you lost your heart. You lost yourself…." He smiled sadly, and tears flowed out of his eyes this time. "And you'll have everything you want, power and money, but you'll never have another human being who is true to you."

Hyde seemed to have been stunned, as he let Tetsu's gaze pierce through his own heart…

"And you can hit me again and say that I'm no one to say it, Hyde. But you were the one who told me I was the only one whom you ever wanted. And I'm the only one who had stayed with you all these years, and I'll be the only one who allows you to manipulate me like your puppet. I have feelings, Hyde. Because I have feelings, I can find a place to go to. But you'll always be blinded and no one will love you, and you'll live through all your life alone and you'll die alone."

This seemed to have snapped the taut string, as Hyde slapped Tetsu again, this time in even more intense fury. Tetsu still continued to cry, but it didn't seem to have affected him… Finally, Hyde stopped, and gazed at him with regret. He didn't like hitting Tetsu; he didn't like to hurt him physically. He was afraid that he would spoil the beauty which was Tetsu… Finally, he said, "Let me see if you're hurt, Tetsu."

Tetsu kept his mouth shut this time, but refused to move, and Hyde turned him around as if he were a doll. He felt Hyde's fingers on him, like a doctor probing into a wound.

"…Stay here. I'll get some medicine…" Hyde started, laying Tetsu down, and Tetsu felt the mattress shift with Hyde's weight.

Have I… Have I gone too far…? He didn't want to watch Hyde leave; but he didn't know what to do as well. He felt empty, as if it had been he himself who was hurt as he said the darned speech…. To which Hyde who had no reaction. Suddenly, he wondered what he was doing; he was supposed to be leaving Hyde….

Why couldn't he bring himself to, again….?!

Suddenly, it hit him that he was alone in the room, as he hurriedly ran towards the cupboard, and pulled out his usual skirt and blouse. He didn't have any casual clothes when he stayed with Hyde; the most casual clothes which he owned were lingerie. A thought of his favorite jacket rang in his head, but he knew he didn't have enough time… Trying to rush through it made his body hurt more.

Still, nothing could hurt as much as his heart did….

His blouse was carelessly buttoned, but he didn't care. Instead, he ran out of the room, only to see Hyde return from the kitchen.

"Tetsu!" Immediately, Hyde dropped all that he was holding and had Tetsu pinned down with a flying tackle. Tetsu cried out as he hit the ground, and Hyde got off him. His voice was angry, as he suddenly pulled Tetsu up by his hair and whispered into his ear, "What do you think you're doing, Tetsu…? Think you'll be able to leave?"

"Let me go, Hyde!" He gasped in pain, trying to push Hyde away. Hyde did let go, and Tetsu fell onto his knees as he sobbed helplessly.

"You can't leave, Tetsu, the door's locked," Hyde suddenly sounded calm again, and changed into an apologetical tone once more. "Okay… I'm sorry, Tetsu. I didn't mean it. What do you want? I'm trying to make sure you're not hurt."

"….I want to leave you.…… … .." He murmured, his eyes flooding over again. "I'll always be hurt here…"

Tetsu's voice had come out softer than he had expected it to be, and Hyde led him back by his hand. In a horrific realization that Hyde was never going to allow him to leave even if he wanted, he followed Hyde. He refused to say a word anymore, as Hyde bathed him, dried him, and rubbed ointment on him gently. Everything Hyde did reminded him of the past, and everything Hyde did made him cry further.

He couldn't live with that beast… Not anymore. Not when he knew that there had to be a better place waiting for him, and not when he felt like an unloved child.

Hyde would never understand.

Hyde's face was so lovely. It almost seemed to tear him into pieces, seeing that face which he knew and saw and loved. Yet it seemed so repulsive at the same time, even with a smile carved on it. Hyde seemed to have realized that no matter what he said, he would not be able to make Tetsu feel any better, so he said nothing, and left Tetsu in the room as he went for work.

And all the while, Tetsu was sobbing. He looked out of the window with pained eyes, seeing the blue color of the sky and the white light which flooded in, and he remembered Hyde, who had once remembered and loved the Sky.

That was back when they loved each other…

He cried himself to sleep, and when he woke up, he cried some more… In a vicious cycle, that day seemed to have passed by. Then Hyde returned, said soothing things to him, bathed him, made him dinner, held him, touched him, fucked him, and then left him again the next day.

Suddenly, he felt nothing towards this, except the undiminishing notion that he wished it would all end.

***

Sakura had waited at the same place which Shimamoto said Hyde would visit often—without results. Shimamoto had said to give him a call if Hyde appeared, but there was no chance, at that rate, that any phone call was going to be made.

Sakura brushed away another girl, and started cursing Hyde. Sigh… I must seem like a wierdo sitting here without a girl. Maybe I should just pick one of them up, if only they aren't out for money. Then again, at least they work harder than Hyde did…And no one can be worse than Hyde.

He almost fell asleep waiting. That was the second day, and no results. He sighed to himself resignedly, to see Yukihiro standing at a corner looking for him. Yuki was directed towards him by a 'waitress', and sat down beside him.

"I said you don't have to do it," Yuki protested the first thing he saw Sakura.

"What do you think you are, a girl?" Sakura replied, half-irritated and half-annoyed. "Quit breathing down my neck."

"Sakura." Yuki murmured, hurt, and turned away.

"Pardon me, I just had a bad day," Sakura sighed, knowing that he had just said something stupid. "Oi, Yuki?"

"I don't want Tetsu anymore, Sakura…" Yuki answered, and handed Sakura a lunch box, which Sakura opened with delight. "If he had wanted to come back, he will…"

"Yuki," Sakura finally decided, as he wolfed down the best ebi which he'd ever tasted, "Why don't you go back to the old house and wait for him. He might return there."

"You know he won't come back, Sakura. Just forget about this damn thing and… We'll go back to like we were before." Yuki sounded as if he was about to cry, and for a moment Sakura thought he would. But he had regained his normal voice the moment Sakura reached into his pocket for a packet of tissue. "It'll just be us, and no one else. It'll be fine, and we don't have to care about Kokuryu either."

"Hyde won't hurt us," Sakura finally said. "Not anymore, besides, I have to settle something with him, Yuki."

Yuki spoke nothing, as he watched Sakura stomach the rice as well.

"Anyway you sounded like a kid," Sakura grinned as he saw Yuki's expression.

"Do not!"

"See, see?" Sakura laughed, and suddenly remembered his table manners, as he tried to close his mouth. "Chill, I was just joking."

"I know," Yuki smiled, and Sakura finished the dinner in silence. It would soon be time for that place to close; anyway Sakura knew that there had to be a better way to find Hyde. Maybe shooting his way into Hyde's office would have been easier.

*** (Chauvinist pig naa…^^;)

And so it happened… Again. Tetsu knew that Hyde wanted something—maybe proof, maybe just plain torture. Hyde had been gentle, but he hadn't believed in that gentility anymore.

And quite rightly so, too.. ..

This time, Hyde brought a blonde home.

Tetsu didn't think Hyde would do it, not while he was around, not in front of him. Hyde had said the blonde's name was Shimamoto, and took him into the room. Tetsu sat in the living room, his eyes swollen from days of crying, and waited. That was all he did. He could hear sounds coming from that room, most of them being Hyde's fantastic voice which would sound whenever he was inside someone…

It hurt. It hurt, to say the least. It was killing him.

He was glad that he hadn't believed in Hyde anymore.

He wanted to die… he wanted to return to Yuki's side. Maybe he should die, that would show Hyde. But if he died, he'd never know what was true love anymore. If he died, Hyde would win, and for once, he didn't want to see Hyde win.

If only he hadn't loved Hyde.

If he hadn't, he would never had felt so pained. If he hadn't felt so pained, he would have lived a life with smiles, probably with someone like Yuki.

What the hell…

The voices faded as he fell into deep sleep, from his tears. He awoke to someone shaking his shoulders and hissing his name. He opened his eyes, and saw an unfamiliar face—he almost screamed, until he realized that it was the blonde whom Hyde had brought in.

"What do you want?" He murmured, tearfully. Had Hyde sent him there to hurt him? Was this blonde going to tell Tetsu that he was going to be his new lover, and Tetsu could fuck off and die? He didn't understand Hyde, sometimes.

Sometimes would be an understatement as well… .

"Are you going to hurt me?" He continued, and waited for a reply.

"No… .I chloroformed Hyde. He's knocked out…. I'm here to save you." Shimamoto held out his mobile phone. "Sakura's coming over from my place to fetch you."

"You were here to sleep with Hyde and he's going to tell me I'm not needed. He's going to tell me he can have anyone anywhere he wants, and whether I exist or not doesn't matter," Tetsu breathed, his gaze away from the blonde's eyes. He hadn't any strength to face anyone… Anymore. As he spoke, he looked at the same place, unseeingly. "….And you're going to be his new pet….. ..And he'll treat you like a dog until he gets a new one."

"Tetsu, Yukihiro's with me." Shimamoto sounded serious, all right.

Tetsu turned, and shook his head. "You're lying…."

"Tetsu. I'm telling the truth.. .Sakura's with me, too, both of them are with me." The blonde wished he could shake Tetsu and get him out of there as soon as possible. "Tetsu!"

Still, no response. He almost felt a pang of guilt as he took hold of Tetsu's hand, and attempted to lead him out of the house. Finally, Tetsu murmured, "It's no use. The door's locked."

"I've gotten Hyde's key," Shimamoto replied with a smile, and showed it to him. He opened the door, and pushed Tetsu out. "I'll get your spare clothes for you if you want."

"I don't want.. .. . I just… ."

"Fine. I've called Sakura, he should be here right now. I'll be returning to Hyde's side after this."

"You had sex, didn't you?"

"Does it matter?" Shimamoto sounded almost bitter.

"You did?" Tetsu asked, almost with a hint of hope. His eyes glimmered, and his face seemed even more frail than it had been for that moment.

"Yeah," Shimamoto raised an eyebrow.

"Okay." Tetsu lowered his gaze. "I'm leaving. … . Thank you."

With that, Tetsu turned, and ran away…. .. .Were those tears which he saw?

Shimamoto smiled, almost painfully, almost crazily, and watched the retreating figure of Tetsu from his back…. . It was a lovely figure, wasn't it?

As if remembering something, he dropped the keys by the door, and shut it.

He supposed he didn't have to kill Tetsu after all. If Hyde knew, maybe he was going to be killed for that. As if it was a procedure which he was familiar with, Shimamoto returned to the room, pulled his clothes off again, and dropping them where Hyde had left it earlier.

If Tetsu had seen him naked, would he have listened? Or would he have run away faster than he had ran away? He almost wanted to laugh at himself for analyzing it like an exam question. Or would it be both? It didn't matter…

He gazed into Hyde's sleeping face, as he climbed into the bed. It was a double bed, he had noticed. Very large, and soft… Was it meant for Tetsu and Hyde only? It seemed to have been… The sheets were so clean, it seemed someone changed it everyday. Maybe Tetsu did. But Tetsu was crying…. And they didn't have any caretaker. Maybe Hyde did, even though it was hard to comprehend that Hyde would be doing something like that.

He wondered many things. As he gazed into Hyde's sleeping face, he realized how much he wanted to hold Hyde, always and always…. For a moment he almost didn't dare to; it was the leader of Kokuryu. It was Hyde, even if he was knocked out. No one held him; he held whoever he want to.

Still, he thought, it won't matter if it was just a while.. .. ………..

He pulled the sleeping figure closer, and held him tightly. Such a lovely being… Why did he have to be so cruel?

***

When the frantic car ride was over and they were safely inside Shimamoto's apartment, the rain had begun to fall slightly. Tetsu didn't hear birds chirping outside; he only saw crows fly away to other places, with their huge, strong bodies.

Yukihiro was watching him. Tetsu knew, and he turned. They had been caught in the drizzle, and the first thing they did was make Tetsu take a bath. Now that it was done, Sakura had volunteered for his turn next, and Yuki sat facing him dumbly, not knowing what to say.

"…Have you been all right when I wasn't around?" Tetsu finally murmured.

Yuki nodded, and opened his mouth. He hesitated for a slight moment, before bursting out, "Tetsu… Do you really want to be here…? Don't you want to be with Hyde.. .You loved him."

"….I don't love him, Yuki…" Tetsu replied with a sad smile.

"…… .Really…" Yuki couldn't help watching Tetsu's form. It was still the most beautiful thing which he had ever seen, especially with that towel wrapped around his thin waist. It almost made him think that if he had pulled Tetsu closer, there would be nothing but the towel that was in his way… .He quickly covered up his thoughts as he got up, "You need a hot drink, Tetsu."

"…. ..I'll make it if you want.. ." Tetsu offered.

"Aren't you cold?" Yuki asked. "We could borrow Shimamoto's clothes.. .."

"I don't want it," Tetsu shook his head almost decisively. Yuki faltered; it made no sense. "I'll just wait till my clothes are dry… It was merely a drizzle, shouldn't take too long.. …"

"Tetsu…. ."

Silence. It was a scary, absolute silence, something which seemed to engulf the two of them. It was different from the normal, satisfying silence. It seemed to have a mind of its own, as Tetsu's mouth opened in the silence, so gently, so beautifully… .Breaking it, "Yuki. Do you love me?"

"What….?" Yuki was startled. The tone… It didn't seem like it came from Tetsu. He closed his eyes, and allowed the feeling to surge back into his chest. ".. ..I love you, Tetsu….."

Tetsu nodded, and tears finally rolled down his cheeks. He didn't speak; he only sat back down and cried. Yuki realized that he couldn't do anything but hold him as he cried; he felt awkward. He gently put his arms around Tetsu, encircling him, drawing him closer, and tightened… . Warmth was all that he could offer Tetsu right then, he realized, as those shoulders shook helplessly.

"Don't cry, Tetsu… I love you… .." The words took so much out of him to say it, but he did.

The next thing he knew was that Tetsu's arms had wrapped around him as well, as he sobbed, "…I'm sorry, Yuki…"

"Why..?"

"I used you to feel. I used you as a hiding place. I… I pretended to belong to you when I loved Hyde back then," Tetsu's tears were almost holy; Yuki suddenly realized there was much more. "Would you still love me…?"

".. ..I'll be your hiding place, Tetsu…. .As long as you want one," Yuki replied, as he felt those arms around him tighten. Tetsu shook more, and his shirt got soaked where Tetsu's head rested. He wished Tetsu won't cry like that… It hurt more than the rain did. Inside, his heart was overflowing with that rain… . With Tetsu's tears… .With his own love and his own pain. "…I'll let you pretend… If you want… .I love you…. But it's not because……."

"… …Thank you so much… .Yuki.. .." Tetsu murmured, as the shaking receded. He seemed to have calmed down… ..Yuki realized, as the rain turned into a downpour outside.

Maybe it was cold...

Maybe Tetsu needed a hiding place… .It didn't matter. Tetsu had fallen asleep, inside his arms, in his warmth, in his own shelter… .

"…Yuki?" Sakura's familiar voice sounded.

"He's asleep," Yuki murmured, as he felt the gentle heaving of Tetsu's shoulders.

"Okay…" Sakura seemed to have understood. He smiled encouragingly, a brotherly smile, and retreated to the room.

Yuki almost stopped him; it felt too lonely…. Even if Tetsu was there. Still……. Loving Tetsu had come so easily, and he only wanted to dwell more in Tetsu's presence…

Even if it had been such a painful existence……

I love you…. His heart murmured, almost in harmony with Tetsu's soft breaths.

Gently, his eyes closed. Outside, the rain continued… Outside, the rain ceased… Soon, it would be a rainbow, when they opened their eyes…

Yuki was sure, if Tetsu would open his eyes with him, together, they would see the rainbow….

If they did…

*** (lol, I just realized "loving Tetsu had come so easily" had two different meanings…)

Hyde's long eyelashes fluttered as he opened his eyes. Something felt weird… He was in somebody's arms again.

It was… Strangely comfortable.

He didn't like it, not when he was waking. Hurriedly, he pushed himself out of that embrace, to find that someone's eyes was blinking sleepily, and then they opened with a jolt.

"Dare?!" Hyde demanded, and smiled when he realized it was Shimamoto. "Oh… Sorry, I didn't mean it…"

Shimamoto's face darkened, but he quickly shielded it with a smile.

Hyde got up, to go to the bathroom, but Shimamoto had grabbed hold of his wrist tightly. Hyde turned, and patted Shimamoto's hand, before making him let go.

He didn't see the perplexed look on Shimamoto's face, as he hummed a jovial tune and stepped lightly into the bathroom. A quick bath was enough; later he could see how Tetsu was doing.

Had he been crying, or? Just the thought alone was enough to make him happy. Tetsu would be crying again for him…. Tetsu would know that he was one of the most desired people around, and he would have realized that he was not the only person in the whole wide world who wanted Hyde.

Hyde had chosen him because he loved him.

Tetsu should realize that someday…… That he was nothing compared to the long queue of people wanting Hyde's embrace, if not for the fact that Hyde loved him as well.

He could imagine that face, as lovely as ever, as sad as ever…

It only made him love him, and want to trample on him more.

Loving him wasn't enough…. .Because he had loved him so much.

Did it sound sane? He laughed to himself. The water sprayed freely on his body, and he reached for the shampoo…. It smelt like roses.

He remembered how they had been together after the fight… ..Which was strange, considering that he had hardly remembered the past, when recently Tetsu was with someone else. His brows furrowed when he remembered how Tetsu had begged to be killed, when he remembered how weak Tetsu was after that incident and later grew strong…

Something was bugging him again; he couldn't quite place his finger on what.

He who loved Tetsu so much….

Quickly, he rinsed his hair, and soaped himself, finishing the shower in a hurry.

Something felt very strange, very wrong. It was almost as if a sixth sense was beckoning him, a part of himself had known about something which he didn't know. He stepped out of the room, pulling on a towel, wrapping it around his waist…..

"Where are you going, Miss Hyde?" Shimamoto asked, as Hyde strode past him. It would have made no difference had he been invisible.

The living room…. .

It was empty, filled only with the dreadful silence. Hyde's eyes widened when he saw something glinting in the morning light against the dull floor… …

It was a key.

The truth dawned upon him… .Tetsu is gone.

Tetsu had escaped again.

Tetsu didn't love him anymore.

No…. Tetsu loved him even when he had used him to spite Sakura…. Tetsu loved him even when he hadn't even glanced at him, he had stayed… Tetsu returned…. Tetsu always did….

He would return, surely…

Something in his heart didn't feel right.

It felt empty, as if part of him had been eaten away and replaced by void…

It was almost as if…. He was losing half of himself.

With a sudden gasp, he ran back into the room, and pulled on some clothes, before hurrying out again, leaving Shimamoto stranded alone in the room.

Tetsu…. His mind only whispered this name, in meditation, as if he had been praying.

***

Yuki turned at the sound of the door opening, and saw the blonde who stumbled in… A realization struck him that it was morning already.

The rain had stopped, and they weren't in time to see the rainbow.

He smiled, before he realized that Shimamoto's face was gloomy. What had happened…? He only knew Sakura had gotten well along with Shimamoto…. He didn't know much, mainly because he didn't care. Not even how Shimamoto managed to find Sakura, or bring back Tetsu to his side.

The blonde returned a slight smile, and went into the bathroom. Yuki thought he looked slightly haggard… Plus he smelt of a familiar smell that made him blush and turn away.

Tetsu was still asleep, and still in his arms…

He didn't know what possessed him, but it had begun to hurt. He loved him so much, it hurt. But the pain came from somewhere within himself, somewhere which he wasn't familiar with…

He wished Sakura would appear and talk to him, and make him feel less awkward. He wished they could go back to playing poker, with Tetsu watching. There were so many things to do, but he knew… Tetsu had gone through too much to do them.

Just then, a familiar figure clad in black shirt and red boxers came ambling in.

"Morning," Sakura greeted, tears in his eyes, as he yawned sleepily.

"Sakura," Yuki was almost happy to see him. However, they lapsed into silence; the two of them did not know what to say.

Sakura's glance turned to the figure in Yuki's arms, and he smiled gently. "How is he now…?"

"He slept from yesterday…" Yuki murmured. "I wonder what happened…."

"He needs a break," Sakura remarked, his face full of empathy, as he sat down on the couch facing Yuki's. He seemed to be in a daze, as he watched them both with a silly smile on his face. Yuki gave him a strange look, but said nothing.

Finally, Sakura got up, and got ready to leave, when Yuki suddenly voiced, "Sakura, do me a favor."

"What?" Sakura asked, turning around.

"Don't leave," Yuki's eyes were pleading.

Sakura relented, and returned to his place on the couch, whistling a small tune. He didn't ask what for, and Yuki didn't explain.

Finally, the figure in those arms stirred, like a bird awakening from sleep. He looked up, suddenly flustered, and relaxed when he saw Yuki's reassuring face. "…..Are you okay…"

Tetsu nodded, silently. His face was still haggard, still speaking of distress. Yuki wished that he could wipe all the past away and shine hopeful light onto him, but… He was helpless. He knew he was helpless. "I'm okay, Yuki…"

He hadn't liked that at all, being helpless when his beloved was in pain.

Tetsu closed his eyes for a moment, snuggling closer to Yuki as if Yuki was a mattress. Yuki, in return, placed his hand on those long brown strands of hair, caressing it, sifting through it… But Tetsu broke the embrace as soon as he had started it. He moved away and sat up, beside Yuki.

"Sakura?" He asked, somewhat embarrassed.

"Hi," Sakura greeted with a wide grin on his face. "How are you?"

"Sakura…" Tetsu almost burst into tears.

"Eh? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine…." Tetsu wiped his eyes with his hands, and smiled in return. "Thanks for caring…."

"Why, you're welcome," Sakura sighed, resignedly, and gave Tetsu a pat on the head. "It doesn't hurt to care."

Tetsu looked like he didn't agree with the statement, and his eyes welled up again. Yuki sat up, wrapping his arm around Tetsu protectively, like a shelter. In Sakura's eyes, it seemed funny that someone who could hardly protect himself tried to protect someone else, but at the same time, he envied Yuki for having someone to protect, in that manner…. He would have protected Hyde once. He would have done anything for Hyde once.

Now, he would have done anything for Yuki and Tetsu. They were the only ones left.

"What do you want for breakfast? I'll be going to get them…. Want to come along?"

"Are you guys idiots?" A voice sounded, and everyone looked up to see a blonde standing at the corridor between the bathroom and the living room. "Tetsu's not going anywhere, unless you people get out of Japan. Maybe Hyde won't be able to reach so far then."

"Shimamoto," Yuki looked happy to see him, and so did Sakura. Only Tetsu cringed further, looking as if he might cry anytime. Yuki noticed it, and he patted Tetsu on the shoulder, leaning closer to ask what was wrong. Tetsu gave a negative affirmation.

"….If we can…" Sakura looked contemplative. "We don't have the money… We'll move into the countryside."

Shimamoto looked amused at their sudden thoughtfulness, and he got ready to go out.

"Where are you going?"

"To Hyde's place," came the prompt reply.

"But…" Yuki was worried.

"I'm going to convince him that Tetsu will no longer be coming back, and that I'll be a better pet than Tetsu," Shimamoto said, sounding cold towards the brunette who shook in response. "If he's convinced, he won't come after you."

"Really…" Yuki looked grateful, as he held Tetsu closely, looking anywhere but his direction. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Shimamoto smirked, as if he had been having a last enjoyment of Tetsu's defeated expression, and left from the front door.

***

The sun was bright…. It was still summer. Summer never seemed to be over; he hated the sun, especially when his heart felt like winter.

He called his men. The previous detective had disappeared; and Hyde had ordered for him to be hunted down immediately. He decided to send his own men instead, and by the time he was finished, it was mid noon.

He hadn't sorted through the paper work; neither had he gone and looked after his own clan's things. It was noon, and he was still moping. He hated the way it seemed to gnaw at his soul, the unresting notion that Tetsu would be gone…. Forever…..

Maybe he could look for someone to occupy his loneliness meanwhile.

Tetsu should return. He did previously, didn't he?

A voice, deep and unsettling, echoed simultaneously. That's coincidental. Without fate's planning, would you have met him again? Would you have found him? If you found him sleeping in that skinny freak's arms, what would you have done? You won't have had met him again, he won't have come back again. You won't have realized how much he meant to you now.

The voice sneered at his inner mind, almost driving him insane.

Usually, it would have been this voice which made him smile, which made him treat Tetsu the way he did… It seemed like the voice of the devil, for it was mocking him, again, now…

It was Tetsu's fault. He swore, he was going to get Tetsu back…… .He knew Tetsu would want to come back… Won't he?

"Miss Hyde."

He turned, to see a taller figure standing in the direction of the sunlight. He hated the blinding light, he hated the dark silhouette which didn't deserve to be lit by something that brilliant.

Only Tetsu…

"What do you want, Shimamoto?" He replied, squinting. His bodyguards who had already stood by the car got ready, but Hyde waved them back.

"…Why did you leave…..So early this morning?" Shimamoto seemed awkward in the manner which he asked.

Hyde smirked. Maybe this blonde could be of some use, at least now…… Even if he was somewhat blinded and born stupid. Hyde hated stupid people….

But aren't you one?

"I had some urgent business to attend to," Hyde smiled, knowing that his smile could deceive even God. "Did you manage fine after that?"

"I went home, Miss Hyde."

"What do you want, Shimamoto?" His smile could deceive even God that he was genuinely uncaring towards Tetsu….

"I have something to discuss with you, Miss Hyde…"

If only it had been real. It would have been so much easier for him, to just make Shimamoto his, and forget about the past years which he spent with Tetsu, in both light and darkness, in smiles and tears……… "Why, sure. If you have time, let's go in for a drive."

Shimamoto nodded, and got in under Hyde's gestured invitation.

"I'm going back to my separate apartment, it's meant for one person, especially when I'm working," Hyde said as he sat on the back seat, beside Shimamoto. He had arranged it differently that day; normally he would be sitting at the back with one security guard. "I prefer that place to the one I brought you to the other time."

"….." Shimamoto didn't say anything. He merely stared in front, not even looking at Hyde once.

Somehow, it wasn't working. Hyde felt unsettled, wondering where had he changed, that this blonde won't react towards his façade. It was as if Shimamoto already knew about Tetsu's disappearance…. But that was impossible. The voices had faded, leaving only his messed up emotions and his own self, to blame Tetsu for disappearing…

They arrived at the apartment soon. Hyde unlocked the door, and Shimamoto followed him in, obvious surprise written on his face. It was a single-roomed apartment, where Hyde had only one canopy bed. The room was spacious, and other than a mirror and a small closet in a corner, there was nothing else but curtains. There was a bathroom, but that was all. It looked more like a hotel than an apartment.

The bodyguards had only escorted Hyde up, then they had left.

Wordlessly, Hyde pulled Shimamoto closer, almost roughly, and pressed him against the wall. He smiled, looking at him seductively, in a way which made Shimamoto feel as if he was a toy. Meaninglessly, their lips met, and Hyde found himself being pulled closer by the blonde. For a moment, it seemed as if Shimamoto was no different from the rest. They wanted him, they loved him… But, why wasn't he happy?

They wanted him… Even Tetsu…

But when had that been?

As if sensing that Hyde's thoughts had changed in the way of direction, Shimamoto's hands had begun to wander, over the curves and hollows of his body. Hyde moaned, and immediately kissed the blonde's neck, biting it painfully.

Shimamoto seemed to have sensed that he was nothing more than a toy to Hyde… But he didn't care. His hands held Hyde firmly at the waist, and he had let himself be entranced by the fragrant scent of Hyde's raven hair.

Suddenly, he spoke, "Miss Hyde."

"Nnnn?" Hyde sounded a wee bit irritated, but his voice was still as sexy as ever. He didn't stop kissing, until Shimamoto pushed him away, not unkindly.

"I love you."

"Love?" Hyde almost laughed out loud. The pain in his own heart was even more obvious now. "You told me, Shimamoto."

"I don't care if you only want me for sex….."

"So?" Hyde shrugged, letting go of the blonde's body. They stood facing each other coldly, as if the earlier embrace had never taken place before.

"I love you….. I want to be your slave, Miss Hyde."

"Love?" Hyde began to laugh, his pretty face seeming even more evilly radiant. "I told you earlier. I don't love you. Do you still love me then?"

Silently, Shimamoto nodded. "…I know about Tetsu…"

Hyde looked at him, shocked. "Tetsu…? How did you know?"

"The way you left this morning, Miss Hyde, an idiot could tell." Shimamoto spoke calmly. He looked slightly hesitant as he added, "Let me be you slave… If it'll calm you down."

Hyde smiled, patting his head, liking the way that Shimamoto made him feel, even if it had hurt more. He pulled him towards the bed, and pressed him down against it, resuming his kisses as he ripped the shirt away. It was almost violent, the way he had brutally bitten on Shimamoto's skin, and he moved to straddle the blonde's hips. He smiled almost viciously, almost as if he knew what Shimamoto was thinking.

"I don't want a slave, Shimamoto, or a lover… I want a whore. Whores who will never get a chance of getting inside me, just like how it was yesterday. Whores who don't get to hold me until I am asleep. Do you want that, Shimamoto?" He hissed, his voice husky.

"I figured…" The blonde smiled, as if it had hurt him to do so.

Hyde's eyes widened, as if he didn't understand, and then he got off the blonde. "Get up."

"You have a gentle side too….. I'll do anything for you, Miss Hyde."

"Shut the fuck up," Hyde murmured coldly. "What do you know?!"

"I don't care." Shimamoto had stood up, the ripped pieces of cloth falling off his chest. "I'll do anything for you, Miss Hyde… I love you."

"You don't know anything…! You don't…..!! If you love me, then bleed for me. Go ahead. I want to see you bleeding and lying on the floor like a pathetic beggar who doesn't deserve to live."

Those words would have stung, as the air of that moment seemed to. The two of them froze, staring at each other without revelation. Suddenly, Shimamoto smiled. He strode towards the corner where the mirror was, and threw it to the ground, shattering it with a loud sound. He picked the two largest shards up, and looked up at Hyde. His hands were bleeding.

"Where do you want me to start, Miss Hyde?"

"Suits you. Go ahead, do it, till you're hurting as much as possible."

"Then I'll start on my arms," Shimamoto's smile grew sadder, as he dragged the edges of the glass across his own arms, drawing similar gnashes on both of them. He hadn't bothered to see if Hyde had any expression. Instead, he pulled the glass across his chest, with such brute force that it seemed like those hands weren't his. He held up the pieces of glass, looking hazily at the blurring face. He hadn't realized that he had cut in so deeply…

It hurt, at least he thought so. He wondered if Hyde was smiling, or frowning when he saw it. It didn't seem to be enough, still, if he had wanted to show how much he loved Hyde….

Wordlessly he pulled those edges again, till his chest seemed like a bloody maze, and his arms were almost immobile with the hatches across them. It still didn't seem like enough, he loved Hyde so much…. Even though it hurt, there wasn't enough blood. Not enough to tell Hyde…

Even though it hurt, he continued, until his legs gave way beneath him. Blood seemed to be trickling everywhere, staining his leather pants, pouring onto pure white of the carpeted floor. He stumbled up, and continued…

Suddenly, Hyde gently pulled a glass piece away from Shimamoto's shaking fingers, almost carefully. He shook his head, "Enough."

"I love you… Miss Hyde….." Using the other, he pulled it over his chest one last time, even more violently than ever. "I love you……"

Hyde was smiling. He seemed to be enjoying it….. Or was there a crazed look in his eyes? Heck, he couldn't see properly. He fell, but was being propped up by someone… It was Hyde, probably.

"…I love you so much…." He murmured deliriously.

"I don't love you, Shimamoto…" Hyde gently said, as he laid Shimamoto down onto the bed. "But why have you done that?"

"I love… You…"

His eyes closed; he felt so painful that he wanted to sleep forever. He wanted to pull Hyde closer, but he hadn't the strength, so he just lay there, resting, knowing that at least Hyde was there.
___________________________________________________________________________________________

Author's notes: ^^; This isn't the official 2^nd part… But I prolly should divide this into two parts, since it was getting . ..long. But it's just that I think things suck too much…

Comments are begged for. ^^'

Saturday, November 11, 2000 1:21:12 PM (not date of completion, but date where original part 2 is split into two.)

Hidoko@Hotmail.com

http://xz0ne.cjb.net